Choosing Fate
by Lady Saffir
Summary: Told by Relena's POV, it details how the GW gang grows up in a world without child warriors. "I wanted vengance. I wanted that person to feel how badly he had hurt Heero, to understand just what he had caused."
1. At first we meet

  
What If?  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: If you know'em, I don't own'em.  
  
AN-I say it now, I have no clue where this story came from. It's writing itself though, and it's driving me crazy. The story will follow through out Relena's life and how she deals with different situations thrown at her. I'm not really sure about the title yet; please let me know if you have a better idea.  
  
Quote:"Good-byes make you think. They make you realize what you've had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted."  
  
"It's so sad that the story of your life has such a horrible plotline."  
-Lady Saffir  
  
"Excellent wretch! Perdition catch my soul but I do love thee! And when I love thee not, chaos is come again."  
Othello  
  
*****************************  
  
  
  
Many choices are made in our life. The clothes we wear, the food we eat, the people we associate with - each is a conscious decision. The simpler choices in life, as it were. But what happens with the other choices, the choices that we aren't completely aware of making. Is it the Freudian Id, a drive that causes us to act in ways that we don't understand? Or is it Fate, Destiny - whatever you wish to call it. Or perhaps it is the 'what ifs' in life, the decisions that will forever alter our life, and we will never know what could have been.  
  
What if. Possibly the most famous phrase in the English language, encompassing everything from the 'what if' of grades, to something more serious.   
  
Like relationships.   
  
What if, in each life, a single soul mate appears with us, leaving only the matter of finding our partner. Or perhaps two appear, similar in manners, yet separated in age, one dying before the other, leaving us with having met both in one lifetime.   
  
But what happens when both are similar in age and mannerisms, and having met both at the same time, we are forced to make a decision. Happy with both, but unable to share one life with two people. Do we remain friends with one, and stay with the other, or cast both out, fearing the wrong decision, afraid of being forever lonely, always asking one thing:  
  
What if.   
  
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
  
"I'm not sure how I came to be where I am in life. At what certain point did I start down this path, and didn't somehow realize it?"  
  
"Are you asking me?"  
  
"No, no. I 'm just trying to prepare you for the cosmic joke that is my life."  
  
"Then by all means, continue. I do so love a good joke."  
  
A moment of silence passed, followed by a long sigh from the first speaker.  
  
"Well? Are you going to start, or are we just going to sit here and stare at the scenery?"  
  
"Fine, I'll start. Has anyone ever told you how impatient you are?"  
  
"All the time."  
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
  
I suppose that all of this started when I was a child, as cliche as it may sound. My family and I had just moved to a new neighborhood, three states away from the place of my birth. I was quite afraid that I wouldn't have any friends, sure that the local children would cast me out.  
  
My parents had sent me outside to play in the backyard while they, and my older brother Milliardo, did the major unpacking. I remember the day clearly, even though I was only six. I had been wandering about the yard, kicking the grass when I saw this head pop around the corner of a bush. The rest of his figure emerged, revealing - what I thought at the time - was an extremely tall boy, with this wild dark brown hair and the deepest blue eyes I've ever seen.  
  
"Hi, I'm Heero, I live next door."  
  
I could only stare for a second. Maybe I could have friends after all.  
  
"Um...I'm Relena, I just moved here."  
  
"Really? I never would have guessed."  
  
I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, because the two large trucks on the street clearly said 'moving trucks', but I decided to let it go for the moment.  
  
"So, um...you wanna play?" I was desperately hoping he said yes.  
  
Heero shrugged. "I guess, but we're not gonna play dollies or house or anything stupid like that."  
  
Happy to oblige, I followed him to the next yard, only to find another boy sitting in what looked like mud.  
  
"Heero! I thought you said we were gonna play war! How can we play war if there's a GIRL here?"  
  
Again, Heero shrugged, turning to look at me. "That's Duo. He's seven, and I'm nine. How old are you?"  
  
"Six an' a half," I answered, daring him to make something of it.  
  
"I guess you can play, but don't cry if you don't like it," he warned, stalking over to Duo.  
  
"I can handle it!" I declared, joining them. "So, what are we doing?"  
  
Duo looked up, an unfamiliar expression in his eyes, that I would later come to equate with trouble.  
  
"We're playing war."  
  
"And how do we do that?" I asked hesitantly, looking to Heero for answers. Which explains why I never saw it coming.  
  
"Like this!" Duo yelled, slinging a handful of mud directly at my face.  
  
I couldn't help the few tears that leaked out at the unexpected shock.  
  
"No crying," Heero warned, already bending down to scoop his own mud bomb into being.  
  
Duo, who was laughing at the 'little baby girl', suddenly found himself plastered to ground, a screaming banshee sitting on his chest.  
  
"I'm not little!" I screamed, cramming a handful of mud into his mouth. Something hit the two of us and we turned to see Heero laughing.  
  
"I got you both!"  
  
Indeed it was the start of a beautiful friendship as we chased each other about the yard, plastering each other and ourselves with mud. Which explains the state Milliardo found me in.  
  
"Relena!"  
  
I whirled at my name and saw my seventeen-year-old brother standing there, his jaw practically on the ground.  
  
"March," he ordered, pointing a finger at our new home.  
  
"See you tomorrow!" I called to Heero and Duo, ignoring Milliardo's protests as I grabbed his hand and began swinging it back and forth. Two new friends in one day - what more could a girl ask for?  
  
******************************  
  
  
The next day I met Gloria Yuy, Heero's mom. A petite woman with dark brown hair, it was obvious where Heero got his baby blues. I instantly fell in love with her. She said she hated being called 'Mrs. Yuy', and insisted that I either call her Gloria or mom. She didn't mind that I loved to play in the mud, and she always had the best snack food around.  
  
Just as it was obvious where Heero's eyes and hair came from, his father's features and personality explained the rest. Hitori Yuy was purely Japanese, from his looks to his personality. He was quiet, and quite stern when it came to his son's behavior. At first I couldn't see how 'mom' had married him, but the older I got, the more I saw the little gestures in their relationship.  
  
Duo lived on the other side of Heero, in this huge brick house that looked like a mansion to me. It has six bedrooms, which is good, because Duo has four other siblings. His baby sister, Helena, is one, and tries her hardest to follow Duo around. His next sister, Elena, is fourteen and is so pretty I instantly decided that I wanted to look like her when I grew up. Finally, there's Julian, the oldest at seventeen. He plays football in the fall and soccer in the spring, and is really smart on top of that.  
  
******************************  
  
  
My most cherished memory of Heero and Duo still has the power to make me smile, with little tingles of warmth spreading throughout my body.   
  
The guys had lost an ice cream eating contest with me, which meant I got to choose our next game. For months now I had been playing 'guy games'. Not that I really minded, but there was a marked lack of girls in the neighborhood that was causing a major cramp in my princess playtime.  
  
So when I won, I immediately knew what we were going to play. And the guys had to go along with whatever I wanted - I had made sure that both Duo and Heero's moms had heard the deal, so they had to play. It was the best afternoon of my life.  
  
I ran home to get my princess outfit my grandmother had made for Christmas, while Heero's mom tried to scrounge up some suitable knight outfits.   
  
When I came back, I couldn't help giggle at the picture the two of them made. Heero was wearing a silver top that had been part of his astronaut suit for Halloween, with aluminum foil wrapped around his legs to complete his suit of 'armor'. Duo had been Robin Hood for Halloween, so he was wearing that outfit. Both were glowering at me when I smiled at them.  
  
"Good! Now, Heero, you're the knight in shining armor that has to rescue me from the really bad guy that took me," I lectured, pointing to Duo, who immediately protested.  
  
"But I wanna be the good guy!"  
  
Heero retaliated before I could think of a good argument.  
  
"No. It's my yard, so I'm the good guy."  
  
Duo couldn't complain with that logic, so they both waited for me to climb into the treehouse. When I was ready, I leaned out the window, calling, "Heero! Save me!"  
  
They both took that as a cue to start fighting, Duo with the wooden sword that came with his costume, and Heero with the lightsaber his uncle had sent.  
  
I watched both of them run around the yard fighting. They had seen movies were swordfights involved lots of big swings and jumping back and falling down, and each did so many times during their battle. By the time Heero knocked the sword from Duo's hand, they were both covered in dirt and mud - especially their backsides.  
  
Heero came to the base of the tree and repeated the words I told them they had to say.  
  
"I saved you princess. The bad guy is gone and you have nothing to fear any longer."  
  
That bit Milliardo had taught me when we first started playing princess and knight.  
  
I climbed down from the tree and jumped Heero, proclaiming, 'My Hero! You saved me!"  
  
Heero simply nodded and was starting to unwrap the foil when my next words hit him.  
  
"Now for the best part. The knight in shining armor has to go with the princess and have tea and cookies with her."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes," I stamped my foot, "you do. Since she got kidnapped and you saved her, she gets whatever she wants, and she wants to have tea and cookies with her knight, so YOU'RE HAVING COOKIES!"  
  
Heero looked at me then sighed, grabbing my hand to lead me into his kitchen. His mom looked up at our entrance, taking in the state of Heero and Duo's clothes, as well as Heero's glum face.  
  
"What's wrong?" She teased. "Did the knight not save the princess?"  
  
Duo, sensing a moment to rib Heero without catching any flack, replied for him.  
  
"He won (even though he cheated!) but now I'm glad 'cuz he has to have tea and cookies with Relena!"  
  
"Shut up, Duo!"  
  
Heero glared at Duo, as did I, because he made my game sound silly. Mom's lips twitched as she looked between us.  
  
"How about we all have some cookies, then you two will watch whatever the princess picks out. Would that work?"  
  
We all thought about it then nodded in unison.  
  
"You better not pick something 'girly' out though, or I'm never talking to you again," Heero muttered as his mom served our ice cream.  
  
  
  
***************************************  
  
  
"Are we going to go through your entire childhood?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh...no, I just wanted you to understand that since I've known Heero and Duo, we've always been close."  
  
"Humph. Well then, can we get to the good parts as soon as possible? Or do you feel the need for another trip down memory lane?"  
  
"This entire exercise is a trip down memory lane."  
  
Sigh.  
  
"Very well. I imagine that I can stand a bit more."  
  
****************************************  
  
  
  
Junior high was almost a slap in the face. Elementary school had given the impression that the school system was easy. Sitting in homeroom that early September morning, pen tightly clenched in hand, I questioned the wisdom of telling Milliardo that he was wrong about how hard junior high would be.  
  
  
Lunch came with great relief. I had known only a few people in my morning classes, and they were only acquaintances. I had met a few girls that seemed to be nice, but only time would tell. For the moment, I was more concerned about finding Duo.  
  
Jostling through the lunch line, I managed to snag something that looked vaguely edible. I hurried to pay the cashier, then stopped at the sight before me. The cafeteria was packed, kids moving and careening against each other.  
  
My heart sank. There was no way I could find a seat, let alone Duo. A rude 'move' sounded behind me. Stumbling forward, I fell directly into the arms of an angel.  
  
"Heero!" I cried with relief, glad to finally see a friendly face. Heero would save me, I was sure of it.  
  
"Having some problems, Relena?"  
  
I felt a blush crawl up my neck, spreading across my face, then blushed harder because of it.  
  
"Yeah. I can't find a seat, a friend, or Duo."  
  
Heero raised an eyebrow, glancing down at my tray.  
  
"Or something decent to eat. I told you to bring your own lunch. Well, you found me, so there's your friend, I can help you find a seat, and Duo's right over there."  
  
Following the direction of Heero's finger, I saw Duo, already chatting and laughing at a table full of people.  
  
Heero guided me through the rowdy crowd, tapping Duo on the shoulder. A hush fell over the group, a few of the girls giggling and blushing slightly.   
  
Duo turned around, grinning at the sight of us.  
  
"Heero man! And Rel! Where have you been? I looked all over, but you disappeared after second period. Glad to see your knight in shining armor rescued you again. Are you two going to have tea and cookies now?"  
  
Scooting down, Duo patted the seat next to him. I could feel the redness creeping across my face again with the reference to our shared childhood. We knew there was nothing behind it, but these new people didn't. From the looks the other girls were sending me, I had a feeling they definitely thought something was up.  
  
No sooner had I sat down than Heero began to make the situation even worse.  
  
"Well, I have to run. Lena, you're coming over for dinner, right?"  
  
"Um, yeah...7, right?"  
  
Heero nodded in affirmation, then disappeared into the crowd, his tousled brown hair quickly vanishing from sight.  
  
Silence fell for a moment before Duo was filling the space once more.  
  
"Everyone, this is Relena, my friend I've been telling you about. She lives on the other side of Heero. She's smarter than she looks."  
  
For that Duo earned a sharp tug on his hair, which he had allowed to grow halfway down his back. It was pulled back at the nape of his neck, and was the perfect tool for getting him to shut his mouth.  
  
"Ouch, Rel! Lay off the hair! Jeez, can't take a joke...anyway, Relena, this is Trowa, his twin sister Catherine, Wufei, Dorothy, and Mariemaia."  
  
I nodded and smiled as Duo pointed each person out, noticing for the first time how cute and nice some of the guys were. The girls were very nice and friendly as well, and I was pleased to find that I could talk to them without any hesitation.   
  
The warning bell rang and we gathered our trash up, then I headed off to band with Trowa, Catherine, and Mariemaia while the others went off to their L&A classes.  
  
LaGrange Junior High reserved fifth period as a time block for what they called 'Language and Arts' classes. Each student had a choice of band, choir, art, creative writing, and foreign languages. This would be the only class period of my day where I would mix with the older students.  
  
Duo had chosen to take art, since he'd been drawing since before I'd ever met him. He loves to draw people, and his new favorite style was based off anime, which was also his new favorite type of show. I had pictures all over my walls that he'd drawn for me, including one with the three of us in anime style. I loved it.  
  
Heero had joined choir on a whim that had paid off big time. His singing voice was simply amazing. Whenever I could get him to sing, which wasn't very often, the...intensity, I guess you would say, stirred something inside me.  
  
As for me, music was my main thing. I'd begun taking flute lessons in fifth grade, and was pretty good if I did say so myself. This would be the first time I had played with people both older and better than myself. Here was to hoping I didn't make a fool of myself.  
  
  
Band was the first time I met Quatre Winner. The director, Mr. Treize, had asked me to grab a stand from the equipment room, but I had no clue where to begin looking. When I finally did find it, I could only stare in dismay at the pile of stands on the floor.  
  
"Need some help?"  
  
The warm voice at my shoulder caused me to jump. Whirling, I lost my balance and started to fall when a hand shot out and caught me. Looking up, I found myself staring at what I thought was a god. Or at the very least, an angel.  
  
"It looks like you do need some help," he continued, smiling warmly.  
  
"Ah...thanks. I was just looking for the equipment room for a stand and you surprised me. I'm Relena. I'm in band. I play the flute," I added stupidly, once more cursing my fair complexion. My face had to be flaming red at this point.  
  
My savior just smiled once more and nodded, sticking his hand out. I stared at it stupidly for a minute, then realized he wanted to shake hands.  
  
"My name's Quatre. I'm in the band, and I play the French horn."  
  
Ye gods, someone this hot was in band?  
  
My expression must have shown my disbelief because Quatre laughed.  
  
"Yes, I really am in the band. Band dork in the fall, soccer player in the spring. The guys usually don't hold it against me."  
  
The mention of soccer made me perk up. Heero was on the soccer team.  
  
"Do you know..."  
  
We were interrupted by Mr. Treize, an amused smile gracing his lips.  
  
"If you're done showing off the equipment room, Quatre, I'd like to get practice started."  
  
Blushing once more, I ducked past Quatre, and hurried to my seat.  
  
After practice I was trying to figure out where my next class was when Quatre mysteriously appeared at my elbow.  
  
"Need some help?" He asked, plucking my rumpled schedule from my hands. Staring at it for a minute he then smiled.  
  
"Come on. You've got class right beside me. Une can be grumpy, but you should like her, as long as you're halfway decent at writing. By the way, who were you going to ask if I knew?"  
  
My mind when blank for a moment.  
  
"Oh! Um...you play soccer, right? Well, do you know Heero Yuy?"  
  
Quatre's smile grew.  
  
"Heero? Yeah, I know him. We're forwards together. How do you know him? Wait - you aren't another one of those girls that chases him around, are you?"  
  
My shocked expression must have been enough to say otherwise.  
  
"Guess not. How do you know Heero then?"  
  
I remembered how to close my jaw.  
  
"He's my neighbor. We grew up together."  
  
"That's cool. Well, here you are. If you want, wait for me after class and I'll show you where to go next. That work for you?"  
  
I nodded mutely, then watched as he smiled good-bye and went into his classroom. I made a mental note to pump Heero for information on Quatre later tonight.  
  
*********************  
  
So, what does everyone think? This will be a fairly quick story, since it's writing itself faster than I can type. The chapters will be quite long, about 15-20kb. Let me know what you think!  



	2. Call me crazy

What If?  
  
Chapter 2  
  
By: Lady Saffir  
  
DISLAIMER: If you know'em, I don't own'em...  
  
AN - BIG thanks goes out to Fatima, Cindy, and Relena Maxwell for checking this over for me. You guys always manage to improve the story somehow...^_~  
  
  
Quote: "Excellent wretch! Perdition catch my soul but I do love thee! and when I love thee not, chaos is come again."  
  
-Othello  
  
****************************************  
  
  
I was beginning to grow frustrated with Heero. The bus ride home from school had provided me with no privacy to ask about Quatre, and Heero had disappeared when we reached our homes, claiming to have homework to do before I came over for dinner.  
  
Dinner itself had been extremely good, with mom fixing lasagna and garlic bread. Both mom and Hitori, Heero's father, had spent the shared time teasing me about junior high, and lecturing Heero to watch out for me. Heero retaliated by recounting our meeting, then turning to smile at me sweetly before asking if he should fix my lunch from now on so my teeny little brain wouldn't have to deal with extra stress.  
  
I replied yes, then went on to ask if he needed help picking out clothes that matched every morning, since his fashion sense was...lacking.  
  
We continued our banter when we moved to the den. Heero was idly flipping through the channels, stopping when I gave a squeal of delight.  
  
"Turn it back! Turn it back!"  
  
Heero knew immediately what caught my attention when he saw the show.   
  
"Scooby Doo on Zombie Island? Come on, we've seen this movie a million times all ready!"  
  
He left the movie on though, and we settled back to enjoy one of our favorite childhood movies. The commercial break came too quickly though, as I tried to figure out what to ask about Quatre without looking like I was interested.  
  
"By the way, thought you'd like to know that Quatre asked me about you," Heero threw out casually, acting for all the world like he hadn't just announced something of tremendous importance.  
  
Which probably explains why he was so shocked when I tackled him. Our momentum carried us to the floor, where I landed on top of one very weirded out Heero Yuy.  
  
"Jeez, Relena! What's wrong with you? And do you mind getting off me? You weigh a ton!"  
  
I obligingly scrambled off his chest, not before getting in one good smack to the arm.  
  
"I do not weigh a ton!"  
  
"Could have fooled me!"  
  
"I'm only one hundred pounds, and stop trying to change the subject! What did Quatre want to know?"   
  
Heero opened his mouth to answer, then stopped, a strange look in his eye.  
  
"How did you meet Quatre?"  
  
"He's in band, stupid. We were both getting stands from the equipment room."  
  
"You didn't plan that, did you? Quatre's getting pretty tired of silly little girls following him everywhere."  
  
The double insult made me glare.  
  
"What is it with you two? Get whacked in the head one too many times with a soccer ball? He asked me the same thing when I said I knew you! You two aren't god's gift to women, I'll have you know."  
  
'Although Quatre comes pretty close', I finished in my head.  
  
"No, I did not get hit in the head too many times," Heero mocked, wrinkling his nose at me. "Honestly, Lena, I knew girls act stupid in junior high, but the first day is a bit much."  
  
I'd had enough of Heero for one night. If he wasn't going to help me out, then I'd just find someone else. Maybe Catherine or Mariemaia would help me.  
  
"I'm leaving," I announced, heading for the doorway. Heero stopped me by grabbing my arm, rolling his eyes at my glare.  
  
"Chill out, Lena. I know you aren't stalker material. All Quatre wanted to know is if you were going to the high school football game Friday. I told him you were planning on going with me and Duo."  
  
"What?! Please tell me you didn't say it like that! It sounds like I've got a date with the two of you!"  
  
Heero rolled his eyes again, hissing under his breath about crazy girls.  
  
"No, I didn't say it like that. I told him a bunch of us were meeting there, and invited him to go with us."  
  
I almost knocked us to the floor again when I hugged Heero.  
  
"You're the best! Ack! Now I don't know what to wear!"  
  
Heero snickered.  
  
"Clothes. None of us want to see you without them. Although that might get Quatre's attention," he teased, ignoring my sputters of outrage.  
  
"Come on, I promised to make sure you didn't disappear between here and your house."  
  
Heero watched as I crossed our backyards, waving back at me when I reached the patio doors.   
  
  
****************************  
  
  
Duo and I share second period together - pre-algebra with Ms. Lucas. The woman was a bit crazy, but if she liked you, a person could get away with murder. Which was what I was about to do to Duo. I should have known Heero would say something to him. Duo took the opportunity to add his two cents before class started.  
  
"Say, Relena, you're still going to the game, right? I've got the perfect outfit to wear."  
  
The smirk on Duo's face told me I was about to be teased and harassed.  
  
"And what is that?" I asked warily, checking to make sure no one around us was paying attention.  
  
"This."  
  
With a flourish, Duo pulled a tee shirt from his backpack, handing it to me.  
  
I opened the shirt, only to give a small squeak when I saw what the shirt said.  
  
"I'm in love with Quatre Winner"  
  
I could feel my eternal blush rising once more, as I reaching over to pull on Duo's hair.   
  
"I cannot believe you two! You think that after all the time we've known each other, you could be a bit more helpful!" I hissed, stuffing the offending shirt into my backpack.  
  
"I am trying to help, Rel."  
  
That innocent look Duo was trying to pass wasn't working. For seven years now, I've watched as Duo used this puppy dog look on his parents and family. My immunity is now quite high, thanks to that repeated exposure.  
  
"Just you wait till you fall in love. Then we'll see if you like the tee-shirt I make you," I threatened, getting in the last word before class started.  
  
************************************  
  
  
I was pleased to find that I shared third period with Catherine and Mariemaia, although Mariemaia insisted I call her Marie. Third period was history, with Mr. Frist. Frist is in his forties, with these big glasses and a bald spot starting on the crown of his head. The man does know his stuff though, I'll give him that much credit. Seventh grade history focuses on the Renaissance period, and our last project is actually kind of cool. We have to dress up in period style clothing, and we're having a fair, complete with food and games.  
  
Anyway, Catherine waited till Frist left the room before beginning her interrogation.  
  
"So, what's up with you and Heero? Are you two a couple?"  
  
My jaw dropped.  
  
"Where do you get these ideas?! He's my best FRIEND. I couldn't date him,it'd be like dating my brother or something!"  
  
Catherine stared at me for a moment, as if deciding whether to believe me or not.  
  
"So...if he's not yours, can I have him? He's hot," she whispered.  
  
Mariemaia decided to get in on the act.  
  
"Yeah, Relena, how 'bout having us over one night and you can invite Heero and Duo...he's not yours either, is he?"  
  
My two new friends were aliens. They had to be. They were asking me to hook them up with my childhood playmates, and they thought they were hot.   
  
Looking between the two of them, I could only sigh and shake my head.  
  
Both were looking at me expectantly, but my luck returned with Mr. Frist, who then announced a pop quiz.  
  
Ah, the ironies of life.  
  
******************************  
  
  
Wednesday afternoon, as we were getting off the bus in front of our houses, Duo pointed to the unfamiliar car sitting in my driveway.   
  
"Hey, Rel, you expecting company? Or did your parents get a new car?"  
  
Shaking my head no, realization dawned when I say the plates.  
  
"Milliardo!"  
  
I sprinted up my drive, barely remembering to wave good-bye to the guys.  
  
Slamming the front door, I ran through the house, ducking my head in each room to look for my brother. Dumping my bags in the hallway, I skidded into the kitchen, almost knocking the table over.  
  
Instead, I fell, and when the shadow loomed over me, I didn't need to look up to see who it was.  
  
"Don't say anything. Just don't say a word," I muttered, taking the hand that came into my vision.  
  
Milliardo laughed, hauling me up to give me a bear hug. I returned the squeeze, glad to have my brother back for at least a day.  
  
"Same Relena, always tripping over air," he teased, turning me so that I could see the attractive woman seated at the kitchen table.  
  
"Rel, I'd like you to meet Lucrezia Noin. My fiancé."  
  
Smiling, the dark haired woman extended her hand, smiling as she spoke.  
  
"Call me Crazy."  
  
I was about ready to, especially after Milliardo's announcement.  
  
"Crazy?" I asked hesitantly taking her proffered hand.  
  
Milliardo and his...fiancé exchanged a look, breaking into laughter.  
  
"Lucy, I told you she wouldn't get it. She's a bit slow; you have to spell things out."  
  
Whapping Milliardo in the arm, I turned to flash a brilliant smile at Ms. Noin.  
  
"Yeah, as I'm sure you've realized, it runs in the family. It really affects the male children though, so if you want semi-intelligent kids, I suggest you dump my brother and save yourself before it's too late."  
  
"Ouch! Relena, you know you're my favorite little sister," Milliardo smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.  
  
"You've been hanging out with Duo too long I think. Like I was saying though, this is Lucrezia Noin, you can call her either Lucy or Noin, and we're getting married. When are mom and dad going to be home so I can have an ambulance on stand-by."  
  
I punched Milliardo's arm once more for good measure.  
  
"You're out of luck. Dad's out of town on business and mom's been working late this week. I've been eating with either Heero or Duo. There's a really good steak place on the edge of town though. I bet Lucy would like it," I hinted, drooling at the thought of going to my favorite restaurant.  
  
Milliardo looked between Lucy and I, then threw his hands into the air when he saw our expressions.  
  
"All right, I'll treat my two favorite women to dinner out. But I'm not always giving in, so don't get too used to this," he warned, looking pointedly at Noin.  
  
"Whatever you say, sweetie," she replied, laughing at his expression.  
  
*************************************  
  
  
Friday came entirely too quickly.  
  
I was in my room, frantically tearing through my closet, with Mariemaia sitting on my bed. I was giving her a ride to the game, and both she and Catherine were spending the night afterwards.  
  
An indignant 'hey!' sounded behind me, and I turned to see the shirt I had just tossed covering Mariemaia's head. She pulled the shirt off, shaking her head.  
  
"Relax, Relena. Just wear a pair of jeans, and the blue tank top you just bought."  
  
I chewed on my lip, wanting to take Marie's advice, but not wanting to appear too casual.  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"Absolutely," came the reply, Marie's head bobbing up and down emphatically.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Two minutes later...  
  
"ACK! What shoes do I wear?!"  
  
***********************************  
  
  
  
I almost had another heart attack when I learned that not only would Milliardo and Lucy be driving us to the game, they were going to stay and watch.  
  
"No. Absolutely not. I can't be seen at the high school football game with my big brother! What will my friend's think? What will Quatre think?!"  
  
Milliardo sighed, twisting a strand of hair in his fingers.  
  
"Look, Relena, this is Lucy's old high school team. And I went to Riverview, so we're going. Nostalgia, if you will.   
  
"But if you want," he continued, tone patronizing, "Lucy and I will sit far, far away from you and your boyfriend."  
  
"He's not my boyfriend!"  
  
Sighing once more, Milliardo stood, snagging his keys from the coffee table.  
  
"Whatever. Not get in the car so we won't be late."  
  
******************************  
  
  
Scanning the crowd for Heero or Duo, I tried not to feel intimidated by the crowd pushing around me. We had arranged to meet by the concession stand, but there were three of them, and the people milling around them made finding anyone I knew difficult.  
  
"There!"  
  
Whipping my head, I looked in the direction Mariemaia was pointing, barely able to locate Heero's dark head moving towards us.  
  
"About time," I muttered, moving to meet him.  
  
"What took you so long?" He asked impatiently, turning to wave at someone.  
  
"Never mind. Come on, we were beginning to think you'd chickened out," Heero muttered, grabbing my wrist to drag me along.  
  
Weaving in and out of the crowd, I almost lost Mariemaia, and finally had to snag her hand to help her keep up with us.   
  
Heero lead us into the stands and down the long pathway to about the forty-yard line. Mounting the bleachers, I saw that the entire gang was already there.  
Duo was sitting beside Trowa, who had Catherine next to him. Wufei was seated in front of them, with Dorothy leaning close to murmur something in his ear.  
  
My attention focused entirely on Quatre though, who was seated behind and to the right. Heero still had hold of my wrist, so I had no choice but to follow him as he pulled me upwards, seating me between himself and Quatre. Mariemaia choose to sit on the other side of Wufei, who looked slightly uneasy at having two girls on either side of him.  
  
Quatre smiled at me and my heart did a little flip, as I prayed that my face wasn't turning beet red.   
  
*******************  
  
  
Half-time came, and although I was starving, I wasn't about to pig out. I don't diet and I usually eat what I want, but it probably wouldn't make a good impression if Quatre saw me scarfing down corn dog after corn dog.  
  
Several of our group had disappeared before hand in order to beat the crowd, so it was only me, Quatre, Heero and Catherine.  
  
"I think I'm going to get something to eat. Would you like to come with me, Relena?"  
  
I inwardly did a little dance, but somehow managed to calmly reply, "Sure, I could use something."  
  
Quatre lead the way to the concession stand, finding a line that seemed to move fairly quickly.  
  
Silence descended for a moment before Quatre spoke.  
  
"Heero said he tried to teach you soccer?"  
  
I couldn't help the blushing. That afternoon had been very embarrassing.  
  
"Um...yeah, but I suck at it, so we gave up before we hurt each other."  
  
The smile that I was beginning to love appeared once more, reaching all the way to his eyes.  
  
"Do you like soccer though?"  
  
"Of course! I can tell you where everyone goes and what they're supposed to do, but I can't get my body to do what I say," I gave a rueful laugh, forgetting that I liked the boy standing next to me.  
  
"I can teach you, if you like," Quatre offered, not quite looking me in the eye. He suddenly seemed tense, and I had to marvel that someone like Quatre could worry over something little like that.  
  
"Sure. I really can't play though," I warned, stepping forward to place my order. As the woman turned to relay my order I sneaked a quick look at Quatre, only to find him staring at me intently. We both blushed and turned away.  
  
"I teach little kids."  
  
I was not expecting that.  
  
"What?"  
  
Quatre blushed again, something that seemed very cute to me.  
  
"I teach little kids. During the summer. So if I can teach a six year old, I should be able to teach you," he continued, finally looking at me. "That is, if you want to. I wouldn't want to force you into it or anything."  
  
I flashed Quatre a smile that I had practiced for three days.  
  
"I would love you..."  
  
My newfound maturity crumbled into dust.  
  
"ACK! I mean, I would love for you to teach me," I stuttered, praying Quatre didn't think I was loony.  
  
Quatre only smiled, grabbing our combined orders.  
  
"Perfect. Here, let me get all this, and you lead the way," Quatre instructed.  
  
***************************  
  
  
I floated on cloud nine all the way to the car, and I even had the grace to ignore Milliardo's ribbing about teen-age puppy love. Quatre wanted to teach me soccer, which meant he wanted to spend time with me, which had to mean he REALLY like me.  
  
When we got home, Mariemaia, Catherine, and I trooped out to the backyard. We had decided to camp out since the weather was so nice. We were all in our pajamas and were sitting inside the tent, talking about the evening, when I thought I heard something.  
  
"Guys, did you hear that?"  
  
Catherine and Marie looked at me like I was crazy, shaking their heads after listening for a few moments.  
  
We resumed our talk, but once more I thought I heard something.   
  
"Guys, I swear I heard something. I'm going out there to look."  
  
Catherine and Marie looked at me, then each other. Shrugging, they got up to follow me outside. We cautiously crept about my backyard, pausing by the large oak tree in one corner.  
  
"Relena, you're just imagining things. You probably thought it was Quatre serenading you," Catherine teased, turning to head back.  
  
"Come on. I wanna hear what happened when you two went to the concession stand."  
  
I knew I had heard something, but I followed my friends back. A rustling went through the tree branches above our heads, but I put it down to being the wind.  
  
That is, until we were drenched by freezing water.  
  
Almost simultaneously the three of us screamed, frozen in our tracks by the unexpected shock.   
  
"Relena and Quatre, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"   
  
I knew that voice, and I was going to kill its owner.  
  
"First came love, then came marriage, then came Relena with a baby carriage!"  
  
"Duo Alexander Maxwell! I'm going to kill you! And don't think I didn't recognize your voice either, Heero! You're both dead meat!" I threatened.  
  
Two shapes dropped in front of me, causing me to squeak.  
  
"Haha! Come on, Relena! I'd like to see you try and catch the two of us!" Duo taunted, making a face at me.  
  
I swiped at him but he danced out of range.  
  
"Nyah, nyah!"  
  
"Get them!" I cried, motioning to Catherine and Mariemaia. Surprised, Heero and Duo stood there for a moment before running, with the three of us giving chase.   
  
  
**********************  
  
  
Two weeks later, I received the biggest shock of my life.  
  
  
***********************  
  
Mwhahaha...aren't I evil? ^_^ Guess you'll just have to wait and see what the shock is, huh? Lemme know what you think, and who you think Relena should end up with...who knows, I might even listen and ignore my muse! ^_~  



	3. 

Choosing Fate (formerly What If?)  
  
Chapter 3  
  
By: Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: If you know'em, I don't own'em...I do own this particular story though.  
  
*NOTE* ~~~~~~ denote a small scene change. ****** are a big scene change.  
  
"Excellent wretch! Perdition catch my soul but I do love thee! And when I love thee not, chaos is come again."  
  
Othello  
  
********************************  
  
I was in gym, my last class of the day. My teacher, Mrs. Chepin (pronounced with a 'K', she informed us) was bent on getting us into shape.  
  
My closest friend in the class was Wufei. I didn't like him at first - he was always harassing me about little things - but I've come to realize it's just teasing, and that's how Wufei shows he likes you.  
  
Anyway, I was trying to hold his feet down so he could do sit-ups when an office aide made her way to our little corner.  
  
"Are you Relena Peacecraft?"  
  
She didn't even wait for me to answer before continuing.  
  
"We need you to come to the office."  
  
I followed the girl into the office, trying to figure out why I was being called there. I hadn't done anything, but the little feeling of dread still formed in my stomach. It all disappeared though when I saw what was sitting on the counter.  
  
A red rose, wrapped in tissue paper along with a spray of baby's breath, was held across the body of a small bear.  
  
The school secretary was gushing over the sweetness of the gift, and trying to see the card I was holding. It simply read, 'Happy Birthday. -Quatre.'   
  
I was about to float away.  
  
"Your boyfriend, dearie?"  
  
My blush and large smile answered the secretary as I carried my gift back to class.  
  
*************************  
  
  
Duo was suitably impressed.  
  
"Gee, Relena, I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you said Quatre was returning your interest. I thought it was just pity for the ugly duckling. But flowers," he whistled, grinning at me cheekily, "flowers are serious."  
  
I allowed myself a childish gesture, sticking my tongue out.  
  
"Told you so!"  
  
*************************  
  
It was around four-thirty when Heero showed up at my patio doors, letting himself in.  
  
"Relena?"  
  
"Living room," I called out, staring blindly at the TV.  
  
"Who died?" He asked, dropping onto the couch beside me and helping himself to the bag of cheesy poofs next to me.  
  
"My parents have to work late," I muttered, flipping through the channels.  
  
"So? Sometimes they...oh."  
  
"Yeah. Oh. They didn't even leave a note or anything saying, 'happy birthday, we'll celebrate this weekend.' My mom just informed me that the left overs in the fridge were still good."  
  
Heero jumped up, reaching over to turn off the television. I only half-heartedly frowned, still enjoying the pity party I was throwing for myself.  
  
"I was watching that."  
  
"No you weren't. And anyway, Sarah needs us to pick Helena up."  
  
I sighed then stood up, not really surprised. Sarah Maxwell, Duo's mom, is the charge nurse in the surgery department of the local hospital, and is constantly late. The past few weeks she's taken to asking one of us to walk to Helena's school and get the little girl. Oakwood Elementary is four blocks away, and has a little park next to it, so we usually take Helena to the park for a bit.  
  
"All right. It's not like I've got anything better to do. Will you push me on the swings though?"  
  
Heero sighed melodramatically, acting as if I'd just asked him for a major favor.  
  
"I guess. Now hurry up or Helena's going to wonder where we are."  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
My mood had improved by the time we returned home. Helena insisted on having dinner with me and Heero decided we would help himself to my fridge as well. We cut across our backyards, and it was then I noticed the light I'd left on in the kitchen was off. I sniffed.  
  
"Something's rotten in the state of Virginia," I muttered.  
  
"You're just paranoid," Heero shot back, waiting for me to unlock the back door.  
  
As I stepped into the living room, the area was suddenly flooded with light.  
  
"Happy Birthday!"  
  
I must have looked like a beached whale as I floundered for words. This caused Duo to laugh hysterically, taking multiple pictures.  
  
Heero was grinning like a loon when I turned. Duo came over to stand next to him, a matching smile on his face.  
  
"Did you two plan this?" I demanded. When they nodded, I gave each of them an enthusiastic hug.  
  
"You're wonderful! Thank you."  
  
"We weren't the only ones, ya know," Duo pointed out, singling people out of the crowd that gathered around us.  
  
"Catherine and Mariemaia invited everyone. Wufei and Dorothy took care of the food, and Trowa's providing the entertainment. And of course, Heero got you out of the house. Along with some help from a little squirt," Duo added, after Helena pulled his hair.  
  
I went through my crowd of friends giving each a hug, although Trowa appeared to be embarrassed, and Wufei cut the hug short.  
  
Smiling mysteriously, Heero pulled me around. I came face to face with a smiling Quatre Winner.  
  
"Do I get a hug?"  
  
I glomped him.  
  
"You get double hugs!" I proclaimed.  
  
Somewhere behind me I heard Duo protest.  
  
"Hey! Why does Quatre get extra hugs?"  
  
I went to pull out of Quatre's arms and he allowed it, surprising me when he kept hold of my hand. I blushed and smiled, then answered a snickering Duo.  
  
"Because he's cuter than you are."  
  
As soon as the words left my mouth I felt like sinking through the floor. Would it be an understatement to say I was embarrassed? Naw...  
  
A shocked moment of silence followed; even my parents and Milliardo had nothing to say. Soon though, Mariemaia giggled. Catherine joined in, Wufei smirked, Trowa smiled, and Duo almost hyperventilated.  
  
Quatre gave me another hug, whispering 'thanks' in my ear. Hmm...maybe I should open my mouth more often.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
My family wisely retreated to their respective rooms, leaving the downstairs for us. I was proud of my mother - she asked that we only not break anything and clean up whatever mess we made.  
  
After we devoured the cake that was made by Wufei, of all people, and opened all the presents (which were absolutely wonderful), Trowa announced it was time for everyone's favorite game.  
  
Twister.  
  
We decided it would be girls against girls, then the guys would compete. After that, the top two of each would go. Easy decision, right? Wrong. It took twenty minutes of fast and furious negotiations before it was decided. Wufei volunteered to be the caller, and we got down to business.  
  
****************************  
  
"This does have a point, right? I can only handle so much."  
  
"Tsk. So impatient. I'll finish when I finish."  
  
"Which is soon, hopefully."  
  
Sigh.  
  
"Fine, I'll cut to the best part and go from there. Are you happy now?"  
  
"I'll live."  
  
*****************************  
  
Anyway, around nine everyone started leaving, with Catherine, Trowa, and Mariemaia being picked up first by Marie's dad.  
  
Did I forget to mention that Mr. Treize is Marie's dad? I didn't believe it at first, since her last name is Kushrenada, and we call him Mr. Treize, but when he dropped her off for the first time and called her sweetie, I had to believe.  
  
Anyway, Heero and Duo had set to cleaning up, leaving me and Quatre to ourselves. We talked easily for a few minutes until someone knocked on the door.  
  
The door swung open to reveal an attractive woman, who I guessed was Quatre's sister. The shared wide, sparkling eyes kind of gave it away.  
  
"You must be Relena," she smiled, extending her hand to take mine in a firm grasp. "Quatre won't stop talking about you."  
  
"I-RI-A..."  
  
I was glad to note that I wasn't the only person on this Earth that blushes.  
  
"I'll be in the car. Don't take forever. Nice to meet you, Relena."  
  
Before I could say good-bye she was gone, leaving two blushing teenagers in a situation that had suddenly turned awkward.  
  
"I guess I should go," Quatre began.  
  
"Thank you for the gift..." I trailed off, unsure. The simple action of hugging, which had come so naturally at the start of the evening, now seemed to be something unthinkable.  
  
Quatre solved the problem for me though, pulling me close for a tight hug. I enjoyed the moment, then pulled back slightly to say good-bye.  
  
Quatre had other plans, apparently.  
  
Slowly, as if afraid I might bolt from the room, bent down to place his lips gently against mine. Both my eyes and my mouth opened in surprise, and Quatre took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.  
  
My eyes closed so I could enjoy the moment, only opening them when we broke apart. I was speechless.  
  
"Wait for me tomorrow before homeroom?"  
  
I nodded and smiled, watching Quatre from the front porch. He waved once before sliding into the car. I waved and watched until the taillights disappeared from sight.  
  
I shut the door and sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned against the door. I was in bliss as I relived every second of the past five minutes.  
  
"Did he kiss ya?"  
  
Duo's voice startled me. I shot upright, forgetting that I had socks on, and was standing on a newly polished wooden floor.  
  
With a yelp I fell down, hitting my head in the process.  
  
Duo, friend that he was, made sure he had his priorities straight. Disregarding any possible physical woes of mine, he ran back into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey Heero! I told you he'd kiss her!"  
  
I staggered into the kitchen, intent on murdering the loud mouth. Knowing Duo, all of LaGrange Junior High would know by lunch tomorrow.  
  
"He kissed you? On the MOUTH?"  
  
"Yes Heero, he really kissed me. On the mouth. And I would thank you very much to not mention this. AT ALL."  
  
I did not like the look Duo and Heero shared. There could only be trouble when Heero got that smirk, and Duo's eyes lit up with that fiendish glow.  
  
***************************  
  
That following Saturday, Quatre turned up, soccer ball tucked firmly under one arm.  
  
"Do you still want to learn how to play soccer?"   
  
I brightened immediately. My mother wanted me to clean, but if I had a guest, I could get out of it. How sweet was that?  
  
We trooped into the backyard, finding a nice, large space to work in. It was a warm fall day, with leaves drifting lazily to the ground when the slight breeze blew.  
  
"Okay. You said you know everything but how to play. Does that include how to kick the ball?"  
  
I shook my head no, and starting on that note, we began our lesson.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heero and Duo popped their heads over the bushes about an hour later, watching silently. Their intent stares made me feel extremely comfortable, but I was determined to ignore them and focus on what Quatre was saying.  
  
  
Of course, when Quatre noticed Heero, he just had to invite him and Duo over.  
  
"Come on. I think we're ready for a little game," was his excuse.  
  
I panicked. Heero played well, Duo was on a team until last year, and I was supposed to go against them? Maybe Quatre really didn't like me.  
  
When we finally got everything in order and set up 'goals' - two old pairs of Milliardo's shoes - Quatre declared the game beginning.  
  
It went without saying that Quatre and Heero targetted each other, leaving me to watch Duo. Heero scored the first goal and Quatre retaliated. After that, the two of them kind of fell back to allow Duo and I to go at it.  
  
I actually managed to win the ball from Duo twice, and I almost made it to the goal when Heero suddenly appeared in front of me. I somehow managed a clumsy pass to Quatre, who scored.  
  
Duo kicked the ball out to Heero, and I fell back to our goal, content to let Quatre deal with this one.   
  
Unfortunately though, Heero didn't feel like dealing with Quatre.   
  
Quickly gauging the situation, Heero saw that I was only somewhat close to the goal, and there was no way Quatre could block the shot. So he kicked it as hard as he could, and we all watched the ball head straight for me.  
  
It was like the slow motion in the movies. I knew it was going to hit me, and I knew it would hurt, but I just couldn't move. It was like I was frozen there.  
  
And so the ball hit me squarely in the stomach, folding me over like a piece of paper. I collapsed to the ground, the air knocked out of me.  
  
The ball dropped next to me and I glared at it, willing it to lose air or something. A little voice in the back of my head though noted that I had stopped Heero from scoring; something many junior high goalies wished they could say.  
  
My lungs were frantically trying to draw in air, leaving me gasping. It felt like my eyes were about to fall out from the pressure. I saw feet in front of me, then Heero's face dropped into view, concern etched into his features.  
  
"Lena! I'm sorry! Are you okay? Why didn't you move?"  
  
Checking me over for injuries, I had to hiss when Heero's probing fingers hit the bruise that was already forming on my stomach.  
  
Duo joined Heero, smoothing my hair back from my face, wiping several tears away at the same time.  
  
"Hey, princess, we told you a long time ago tears weren't allowed. When did you turn rebel and start breaking the rules?"  
  
I had to smile at Duo's words.  
  
Quatre had also joined the guys, gently pulling me into a sitting position when I struggled to sit up.  
  
"Are you going to be okay?"  
  
I managed to nod, then tested out my voice.  
  
"I'm...fine."  
  
Heero took my returned speech ability as a cue to start lecturing.  
  
"Relena, why didn't you move? I know you could have," Heero glared.   
  
Fortunately for me, I've been subjected to his glares as many times as I have Duo's puppy face, so I'm immune. And I'm proud to say I give back as good as I get.  
  
"Maybe I wanted...to stop you," I wheezed.  
  
"Hmph. Fool. Don't do it next time."  
  
"Aye aye, cap'n," I saluted, earning a reluctant smile from the fussbudget.  
  
Unknown to me at the time, Quatre was watching this interaction closely, a small wrinkle marring his forehead when he frowned to himself.  
  
***************************  
  
The next three months were absolutely wonderful. I found out I could do well in my classes. I had several new best friends, (some of which were female, which relieved my mother greatly) but on top of everything, I had a wonderful, smart, cute, intelligent, athletic boyfriend. What more could a girl want?  
  
A wonderful, smart, cute, intelligent, athletic boyfriend that still wanted to be a girl's boyfriend, apparently.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Quatre showed up at my doorstep unexpectedly one afternoon with a determined glint in his eye. When I gestured for him to sit down he simply shook his head no, then began to talk.  
  
"Relena, I've been thinking..."  
  
Oh god. I knew what was coming.  
  
"You're wonderful. I'm glad that I've gotten the know you better. But I think it would be better if our relationship was more like yours and Heero's, and you were my best friend. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"  
  
I blinked rapidly, determined not to cry.  
  
"Yeah, I think I get it. Hope you don't mind if I don't talk to you for a bit, though," my voice was so soft, I wondered for a moment if Quatre had heard me.  
  
"I understand."  
  
An awkward pause followed before Quatre let himself out, and left me to wonder what exactly I'd done wrong. I sat in silence for a minute, counting slowly, trying to control my breathing. I had to get out of the house.  
  
Pulling my jacket and gloves on, I headed for Duo's, knowing he'd be home. My parents would be back around six, and I had to get everything out of my system. It wouldn't do to go into hysterics at the dinner table, after all.  
  
I let myself into the Maxwell's home, heading for the livingroom where I could hear the TV blaring.  
  
Duo looked up at my silent entrance.  
  
"Hey Rel! Did you know it's supposed to start snowing tonight? We're supposed to get four inches."  
  
"No, I didn't know that," I replied quietly, falling onto the couch next to him.  
  
Duo eyed me critically.  
  
"What's wrong with you? You look like your pet just died or something."  
  
"Quatre dumped me," I told him, keeping my eyes firmly on the screen in front of me.  
  
"He what? When? How?" Duo sputtered.  
  
"He dumped me. Just now. Said he wanted our relationship to be 'more like my relationship with Heero'."  
  
With the announcement I felt tears begin to slip down my cheeks. Duo pulled me into a tight hug, awkwardly patting my back in reassurance.  
  
"I'm sorry babe."  
  
I looked up.  
  
"Babe?"  
  
"Yeah, babe," the patented Duo 'smile o'mischief' made an appearance. "I've been thinking about adding it. Only if I know the girl though," he added in after thought. "I wouldn't want to get decked for calling a stranger that."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I was at Duo's for an hour or so, then I went home and quietly informed my parents that Quatre and I had broken up. My mother made a few sympathetic sounds. My father told me this was a good thing, because Quatre wasn't good enough for his princess. I smiled calmly and acted as I usually did, then went up to my room to get ready for bed.   
  
I hurt, but it wasn't the type of hurt one read about with normal teenage love. It was kind of like someone had just told me they were very disappointed with me; or like I had just failed a major test. I didn't get it - according to all the young adult books, I should have been a quivering pile of sobbing teenager.   
  
I brought the subject up with Catherine on I was on the phone later that night. Catherine is kind of like my own personal 'Dear Abby'. She's always able to put things in perspective and make me laugh at the same time.  
  
"Relena, those books are targeted to pull at your heart strings, so you buy the book, loan it to your friends, which gets them hooked and they go and buy a copy. It's called 'marketing'."  
  
"Oh, haha. I just...I don't know. I liked him, but..."  
  
"He wasn't the one."  
  
I opened my mouth to say something, but I had to stop and think. The one? WAS there such a thing?  
  
I brought the idea up with Catherine, and the entire conversation turned to what our dream guy would be.  
  
"Hmm...tall, with black hair, and pretty blue eyes...and smart...it wouldn't do for him to be cute but stupid," Catherine thought out.   
  
I nodded in agreement, then remembered she couldn't see me.   
  
"Sounds good to me. Although I think I'd like brown hair instead black."  
  
"I've got it! You should date Duo - he's cute, he's smart, he meets your standards, and he's in our grade. What more could you want?"   
  
Catherine's babble surprised me. Me, date Duo? Yeah right.  
  
I couldn't stop the little voice in the back of my head that kept repeating the idea. Would it be so bad, having Duo as a boyfriend?   
  
********************************  
  
Wufei and I had made it a habit of pairing up and talking in gym class. We'd even gotten to the point where we could talk about personal stuff. I had just finished telling him about Quatre and what Catherine had said.  
  
Wufei finally sighed then turned to look at me.  
  
"For god's sake, Relena. Just ask Duo out and get it over with. I've listened to you talk about 'Duo this' and 'Duo that' for two weeks now. Please - for everyone's sanity, just kiss the boy or something and put the rest of us out of our misery."  
  
My mouth gaped. I hadn't been talking about Duo that much, had I? I blushed at the thought of kissing Duo. I didn't think it would be a bad thing, actually.  
  
Did this mean I really did like Duo?  
  
Wufei had been talking while I mused on the thought, and I came back to the conversation with a start.  
  
"...Dorothy. Have you heard a word I've said in the past two minutes?" Wufei demanded, stopping to regard me with something that looked suspiciously like a smirk pulling at his lips.  
  
I shook my head no, smiling sheepishly.  
  
"I'm sorry. I was just realizing what a nuisance I've been these past couple of weeks."  
  
Wufei smiled and patted my back.  
  
"It's okay. We all understand. Besides, it just means that you have to listen to us when we start talking about someone."  
  
Wufei blushed, and I started to wonder what exactly I had missed when I was day dreaming.  
  
"All right, Wufei, who do you..." I trailed off when I realized who he was talking about earlier.  
  
"You like Dorothy, don't you?"  
  
"No. I just..."  
  
"Now who's not seeing what's there? Just spit it out," I ordered, pinning Wufei with a glare.  
  
Wufei wouldn't look at me when he finally spoke up.  
  
"Yeah, kinda. I mean, she's really smart, and her sense of humor is kind of weird, but...I think I do like her."  
  
It was my turn to pat his back in sympathy.  
  
"Feel better?" I continued after he nodded.  
  
"Well, what do you say we help each other? You talk to Duo, and I'll talk to Dorothy. Deal?"  
  
Wufei agreed and we shook hands on it.  
  
**********************  
  
I looked up from my homework when Mariemaia bounced in to my room, enthusiasm oozing from her body.  
  
"Hey Relena! Have I got some news for you!"   
  
**********************  



	4. Woud anyone care for a mud pie?

  
Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 4  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISLAIMER: If you know'em, I don't own'em...I only own the story line though.  
  
Takes place immediately following chapter 3  
  
******************************  
  
I'm always amazed at the sheer amount of energy Mariemaia can produce. I'd like to know her secret though; the girl can eat a pint of ice cream and still manage to bounce around and lose weight.   
  
"News? Please tell me Une cancelled our poetry test. Please," I begged, earning another large smile from Marie.  
  
"Nope. It's still on. But it does have something to do with Ms. Une."  
  
Did I also mention Marie has this knack for talking without actually saying anything important? She doesn't play twenty questions. She plays fifty questions, and even then you'll have to puzzle through the relevancy of her statement compared to the original topic.  
  
"Dad's going out on a date tonight with Une."  
  
Well, that certainly wasn't the news I was expecting. Mr. Treize and Ms. Une - dating?   
  
"Um, Marie...isn't that just a little...weird...for you?"  
I questioned, already knowing the answer from the way my friend was bouncing about the room.  
  
"Weird?" She wrinkled her nose at me. "Why would it be weird? I think it's great!"  
  
With that, Mariemaia headed for the door, ready to pounce on her next unsuspecting victim.  
  
I could only shake my head and turn back to my studying.  
  
*************************  
  
  
Christmas came and went, but I didn't get to spend it with my friends. Instead my family and I drove to Indiana to see my grandparents. Milliardo was meeting us there, along with Lucy, then going to visit her grandparents in Pennsylvania. That is a whole lot of traveling, if you asked me.   
  
I always love to visit my grandparents on their farm. If we were lucky enough to get snow, the white stuff blanketed the surroundings, and when the full moon shone down it was truly a sight to behold.   
  
Lucy and I were sharing a room, and I was looking forward to getting to know my future sister-in-law better.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The real chance to talk didn't present itself until Christmas Eve, when everyone retired to his or her bedrooms. I was dreamily staring out the window at the moon. I've always had this fascination with the moon, ever since my grandmother told me this little...I don't know. I wouldn't call it a nursery rhyme, and it's not exactly a prayer, but I like it.  
  
"I see the moon and the moon sees me. God bless the moon and god bless me."  
  
I whirled around, somehow managing to stay on the little window seat. Lucy was standing in the doorway, a tiny smile playing on her lips.  
  
"I didn't mean to startle you. I just couldn't help it."  
  
I smiled, then turned to give a final nod to the moon.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
We settled in for the night, and for about half an hour I lie there, trying to fall asleep. There's just something about Christmas Eve though that gets me so excited. I know that Santa doesn't really exist, but the unknown presents, just waiting for me to tear them open...I'll be the first to admit I'm still a child at heart.  
  
Anyway, I sighed and moved to get out of bed, trying not to wake Lucy up.  
  
"Relena?"  
  
I cringed, turning to the shadowy outline a few feet from me.  
  
"Sorry to wake you. I can't sleep, so I thought I'd go grab a bite to eat."  
  
Noin nodded, sweeping the covers back to place her feet on the bare floor. Grabbing her robe, she headed for the door, then stopped suddenly.  
  
"Do you mind if I join you? I could use a snack myself," she explained, and I couldn't help but smile. Finally, someone in this house that shared my joy of midnight snacking.  
  
We seated ourselves at the small kitchen table, a gallon of milk sitting next to the plate piled high with samples of the Christmas goodies my grandmother had made.  
  
A few minutes of quiet munching ensued, and then Lucy started a conversation I still cherish to this day.   
  
"Did I ever tell you about the nickname I gave your brother?"  
  
I had to perk up at the mention of Milliardo and nicknames. If they came from Lucy, they had to be good.  
  
"Oh, do tell..."  
  
Half an hour later Lucy was finishing up the story, and by that time we were both laughing so hard we were crying.  
  
"So I said, 'all right, but you're a Liar!'"  
  
We collapsed onto the table wheezing with laughter, and I shot milk out of my nose. Lucy laughed even harder and I had to join in.  
  
A few moments passed and we were able to finally regain our breath without starting again.   
  
"So you got the nickname 'Crazy' because it's in your name, and Milliardo has 'Liar' in his?"  
  
Lucy smiled while she wiped at her eyes, then finished her glass of milk in one long swallow.  
  
"Yup. And now, I think it's time to go to bed. It's almost two, and I really need my beauty sleep."  
  
I had to snort at that. Lucy rarely wears make-up; how in the world can she say she needs beauty sleep?  
  
I said as much to her and she thanked me, then turned my question around on me.  
  
"Come on. You don't wear any either, and I'd say you have tons of boys surrounding you."  
  
"Oh, I've got the boys alright, but to them I'm the little sister or the best friend. In fact, Quatre just broke up with me because he wants our relationship to be like mine and Heero's," I replied, slightly disgusted at the words.  
  
Lucy gave a sympathetic 'jerk!', then politely asked, "Do you want me to beat him up? Or Milliardo - now that would put the fear of god into anyone," she teased, effectively lightening the mood.  
  
I smiled, laughed, and blushed at her next words.  
  
"Don't worry. In a few years, the guys will be singing a different tune. You, young lady, are going to be very pretty one day."  
  
***************************  
  
The end of January brought a very big surprise. Wufei had finally gotten up the nerve to ask Dorothy out. She agreed, told him it was about time, and kissed him on the cheek. From that point on, the two were inseparable.  
  
Wufei, in his new capacity of boyfriend, had taken it upon himself to drop little hints to Duo about me, then calmly inform me that I was being immature for not outright stating my feelings. I should just take the plunge, he said. I reminded him who had talked to Dorothy for him, and the jerk had the nerve to say he was just returning the favor.  
  
Boys. Grrr..  
  
  
**************************  
  
February fourteenth came and went, and I decided that Valentine's day was the worst holiday man could have come up with. Stupid commercialism.  
  
An interesting twist to life popped up and smacked me in the face. Heero, who had previously never really shown an interest in girls, gave Catherine a balloon and rose for her birthday.  
  
He might as well have sung praise for her over the intercom system, the action was that big. Duo and I had teamed up, teasing Heero mercilessly. After all, what are best friends for, if not to cause major embarrassment?  
  
**************************  
  
Then came the day I had been dreaming about.  
  
Catherine's mom had decreed that while she could date Heero, all of their dates had to include other people, and one of those other people had to be a girl. A girl that Mrs. Bloom knew.  
  
Duo showed up at my doorway Friday evening, quieter than usual. Following me downstairs into the rec room, he came right out with it.  
  
"Relena...Wufei said you liked me. Is that true?"  
  
Watch closely folks, because you're going to see the first person to ever melt through the floor all the way to Wufei's native China.   
  
I was halfway there when Duo spoke again.  
  
"Cuz, well, if it's true, then that's really awesome. I like you too."  
  
I instantly reformed my body, along with the vocal chords that had stopped working.  
  
"You...like me?"  
  
Duo blushed and looked sideways, chewing on his bottom lip.  
  
"Yeah. That doesn't weird you out, does it?"  
  
His question made me smile.  
  
"Not at all."  
  
**************************  
  
I was in heaven. The school year was finally over, and Duo and I were getting along fabulously. We didn't even fight over stupid stuff like other couples seemed to be doing.   
  
I had just gotten off the phone with Duo when Mariemaia called.   
  
"Marie, you have to swear not to tell anyone...but I think Duo's the one," I spilled, practically dancing about my room. I thought you had to spend years searching for that perfect someone, and I had found in almost in my backyard.  
  
"I can do better than that," Marie replied. The excitement in her voice was almost tangible, and I couldn't wait to hear about Marie's newest crush.  
  
"So? Who is he? Do I know him?"  
  
I could hear Mariemaia shaking her head.  
  
"It's not me silly. It's dad. He and Julie are getting married!"  
  
Julie is Ms. Une's first name. I personally thought her first name left much to be desired. Who in their right mind would name their child 'Julie Une'? It was asking for the kid to be picked on.  
  
The news though was wonderful, and I listened to Marie throw some of the details around. It looked like the wedding would take place in early June of next year, and Marie got to be the flower girl.   
  
  
**************************  
  
Another wedding was in the works. Milliardo and Lucy had spent the past nine months planning every detail, down to how the ribbons would be placed about the flowers. That was entirely too much detail for me, but hey, it wasn't my wedding, so my opinion didn't matter.  
  
We were in the home stretch though, and I was sure mother was going to pass out from all the activity that was going on. About a hundred and fifty people were invited, and I swear that ninety percent of them were picky about where they sat at the reception. So-and-so didn't like so-and-so, and this person had once punched another person when they were in fifth grade, and would the couple mind terribly if a few friends tagged along?  
  
I was curled up on the hammock one afternoon, trying to ignore the buzz that was issuing from my house. Both the caterer and the person making the cake had stopped by for a few opinions, and the florist had also decided to swing by. I had to escape before one more person asked me if I thought this was 'exciting'.  
  
Duo showed up half an hour after that, basketball in hand. The boy loved the sport, and I usually found myself, against all protests, in his driveway, trying to block him from shooting. Which is impossible, since Duo kind of towers over me.  
  
Duo must have sensed my mood, since he wisely chose to drop the ball. After several unsuccessful attempts, we somehow managed to fit the two of us on the hammock. I just knew my mother (or worse yet, my father) would peek out the window, and have a fit. Ever since Duo and I had gotten together, they had grown paranoid about the two of us being alone. I'm sure that us lying down together somehow fell in to that 'bad' area.  
  
*************************  
*************************  
  
"Wait a minute. You never did say anything about your parents. What were they like?"  
  
"My parents? Well, I look very much like my mother, although some say I resemble father more. I definitely get my attitude and sense of humor from dad.  
  
"Mom is small like I am, and she always kept her hair pulled back. For the most part we got along quite well, but when we fought, everyone knew it.   
  
"Dad worked for the government, and while I was growing up he was based out of D.C. I never did quite understand what it was he did, but I know there were times when the stress level was pretty high.  
  
"I get my eyes from my father, as well as the laugh lines around my eyes whenever I smile. The yard was his favorite place to work in, and every Saturday found him outside, puttering around in the dirt.  
  
"Is that enough background info for you?"  
  
"Yes. I just needed an idea of who your parents were. After all, you hardly mention them."  
  
"And for good reason. My parents had minimal influence over my love life."  
  
***************************  
***************************  
  
Duo has always been easy for me to talk to. Our ideas about many issues are close enough for us to agree upon them, and our sense of humor has always been a little warped. Practical jokes we love, and water games are even better.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The muggy July weather and heavy sky had finally released the much-needed rain. Thunderstorms every other day during this season were not uncommon, and the mud puddles (or swimming pools, in some cases) were very large.   
  
We were celebrating the Fourth of July at my house, with a large backyard, 'grill some hot-dogs and hamburger' type of thing. The rain had started once more, driving the adults inside. We 'children' however, had decided to enjoy the cool showers.  
  
And to have a mud fight, but that was only an added bonus.  
  
Anyway, if you walk through the woods behind my house, you come upon a small stream and an area devoid of grass and trees. We had trooped there with the intention of playing in the creek, but we found a better play toy.  
  
The area that was normally hard dirt had turned in to a large mud pit, complete with standing water several inches deep.  
  
Heero, Duo, and Trowa immediately waded in, taunting the hesitant Quatre and Wufei from where they stood. Quatre finally shrugged, pulling his shoes and socks off before joining the shouting boys.   
  
The mud was soon flying, and not all of it was hitting the intended target. Splatters of mud could be found on all of our clothing, and I was half tempted to say the heck with it and have fun as well.  
  
Duo decided for me though, when, with a wink and a large grin, he threw a mud ball straight at me. The 'splat' of impact had me shrieking.   
  
"You are sooo dead when I catch you!" I threatened, taking a step forward. The mud squished between my toes with a vaguely icky feeling. Nothing tops that feeling better than being thrown on the ground and having your face being rubbed in it though.  
  
It was a free for all after that, with Catherine coming to my rescue. Wufei joined us as well, leaving Dorothy to stand next to Mariemaia on the grass.  
  
Catherine and I were back to back, fending off Quatre and Wufei when Heero and Duo appeared out of no where. Duo swept me off my feet, then Heero grabbed hold of my ankles, turning me upside down.  
  
"DUO!"   
  
My shrieks intensified as my head was repeatedly dunked into a deeper part of the mud, my hair becoming coated in the slimy substance. After several minutes I was allowed to regain my feet, but the damage was done.  
  
Ignoring Heero, I tracked Duo, advancing carefully over the uneven footing.   
  
"Come on, Rel, you know you can't catch me. Just give up and we'll call it even, wadda ya say?"  
  
I shook my head. There was no way he was going to sweet talk his way out of this one.  
  
"Rel?"  
  
I think the glint in my eye gave it away, because Duo was suddenly back peddling.  
  
"Rel..."  
  
Without warning I launched myself straight at Duo's chest. Both my weight and my momentum carried us to the ground, and it was with relish that I held my handful of mud high in to the air.  
  
Only to bring it straight down, into Duo's open mouth.   
  
He had been forming a protest, which was lost as he tried to spit out the wet dirt. I was dumped to the side as Duo ran for the creek, intending to wash his mouth out.  
  
Five minutes later and he was back, eyes narrowed.  
  
"Something wrong?" I asked sweetly, wringing some mud from my hair. With my triumph the fight died away, and now we were trying to clean up as best we could.  
  
"I'll get you, my pretty," he intoned, then plopped down next to me. An impulse formed, and I followed it, leaning over to kiss him softly on the lips.  
  
"You already have me," I replied, amazed at the fact that I, Relena Peacecraft, had just kissed Duo Maxwell. Will wonders ever cease?  
  
A dirty Wufei promptly hugged Dorothy, having stayed far from any chance of being hit. Her scream must have been heard for miles around, but in the end she smiled and smeared some mud through his hair. He returned the gesture, bopping her nose to leave behind a spot.  
  
"Brown noser."  
  
With a smile and a laugh Wufei dodged Dorothy's swing, heading for the creek to wash off. The other guys followed suit, as did Catherine and I. My parents were going to have fits.  
  
***************************  



	5. Did I mention I have a very cute guy for...

Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 5  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the GW boys or girls, unfortunately. The story idea is mine though.  
  
Visit my site at: http://www.geocities.com/tsukino7/  
  
Don't forget to sign the guestbook, please!  
  
Big thanks go out to Cindy, RM, and Fatima for looking everything over.   
  
To everyone that has written or left a review, I'd like to thank you. You don't know how happy I am when I check my email. Feel free to send any comments, criticisms (constructive, please) and questions to Rinoah7@cs.com. I'll try to reply as soon as possible.  
  
*************************  
  
Three months into the new school year, I was convinced I had life figured out. Pay attention in class, be polite to the teachers so they'd be more inclined to give a little leeway, and hold your friends close.  
  
My relationship with Duo was working out quite well too. We never fought - ever. I was comfortable around him. I could be myself and have no fear of him thinking me odd or childish in my sometimes strange notions.   
  
Duo. Just hearing his name created a little glow inside of me. I'm not talking about the way those horrid teenage movies portrayed a girl in love, either. I was...content with the world. As long as I had Duo to lean on, I could survive anything life threw at me.  
  
We developed a pattern early on in the school year. While it was true that we saw each other during the day, we only exchanged small talk. We laughed with our friends and quietly stored information away to talk over later.  
  
Our newest topic was the way that Dorothy was treating Wufei. At some undefinable point, her teasing had turned into out right barbs.  
  
I guess I should explain Wufei a bit better, so you can understand why he put up with her for so long. Wufei's outer personality can be quite crass and rude. You have to dig - and be very persistent - to find the true Wufei. Underneath his cool demeanor is pure mush. No matter how much he denied it, the boy loved romantic, fairy-tale endings. He was a self proclaimed cynic, but the little memorabilia and trinkets scattered about his room told a different story.  
  
He was also extremely loyal, and was a textbook study of love being blind.  
  
Anyway, halfway through our eighth grade year, Dorothy suddenly decided that Wufei was being 'incredibly mean' to her. Which should be read as the boy finally growing some balls and telling her what to do with her ideas.  
  
Of course, she immediately broke up with him, and he fell head first into an almost depression. We shared science and algebra, so I was able to keep a semi close eye on my friend.  
  
Algebra with Mrs. Hemlin was always a nerve-wracking affair. A slightly older woman, Mrs. Hemlin was my height, with graying hair, thick glasses, terrible hearing, and a monotone voice that put even the strongest of will to sleep.  
  
Once she started lecturing she was also deaf to the world, so it was fairly safe to talk in class. Or pass notes.  
  
/What's up?/  
  
/Nothing. I was just thinking about cutting my hair. Apparently long hair on guys is 'disgusting'./  
  
/NOOOO! Forget whatever SHE said, your hair is beautiful./  
  
/You can write 'Dorothy' - I promise I won't go into fits./  
  
/'Sorry. Anyway, I.../  
  
I was suddenly aware of the silence in the room, and looked up to find Mrs. Hemlin glaring at me.  
  
"Since you were taking such wonderful notes, Miss Peacecraft, why don't you come to the board and work this problem for us?"  
  
With much reluctance - and a scathing look that Wufei merely shrugged off - I advanced to the front of the room to do battle with a quadratic equation.  
  
****************************  
  
Heero and I remained very good friends, even if I didn't spend as much time with him now. There were some things I felt that I couldn't talk to Duo about, so I turned to Heero.   
  
Right now he was trying to help me pick out a Christmas gift for Duo. I had never had trouble finding presents for either of the boys up to this point. It seemed that dating Duo had messed up that ability.  
  
Gloria had dropped us off at the mall two hours ago. So far we had found presents for all of our friends, and were now in search of the 'perfect present'. I was beginning to suspect that such a thing didn't exist.  
  
Heero stopped suddenly, giving me an exasperated look from underneath his unruly bangs.  
  
"Lena, you're making this harder than it should be. In the past you've been able to shop with no trouble."  
  
"Heero, I'm not doing this on purpose!" I protested. I glared at the surrounding stores, mentally commanding the perfect gift to appear in the window.  
  
Heero sighed, then grabbed my hand to drag me into Toys 'R Us at the end of the mall.  
  
"We," he commanded, "are not leaving this store until you buy something for Duo."  
  
Oh dear. Heero in commander mode is a force to be reckoned with. I sighed and gave up, tagging along behind Heero as he marched down the aisle.  
  
*********************************  
  
I ended up buying this model kit that looked entirely too complicated to derive any amusement or joy out of. Duo, of course, loved it. He also began to assemble it immediately, paying the real world, and me absolutely no attention.  
  
My gift from Duo was a snoopy watch. Snoopy and Woodstock were hugging in the background, and I decided that Duo had the knack for finding exactly the right thing. I adored Snoopy, and the watch was just too cute for words.  
  
Christmas was wonderful without the gifts though. Milliardo and Lucy had shown up the day after Christmas, with a very big announcement. Milliardo, a firm believer of the 'less is more' approach, couldn't have caused more chaos if he had tried.  
  
We had settled into the rec room to watch a movie and were fast forwarding through the coming attractions trailers at the beginning. My parents were on the couch, my brother and his wife occupied the love seat, and I was stuck with the floor.   
  
Oh so casually, Milliardo looked around the room and said two simple words.  
  
"Lucy's pregnant."  
  
Now, we all know Lucy's name, so we didn't have a hard time grasping that part of the sentence. And we all knew what pregnant meant, so it should have been a no brainer, right?   
  
Wrong.  
  
My parent's acted as if Milliardo had just announced his intentions to fly to the moon using only his arms for transport. Dad floundered for words, his gaze swinging between his son and daughter-in-law like he was watching a tennis match.   
  
Good ol' mom though, seemed to get her brain functioning a bit faster than that.  
  
"She's...pregnant? You're sure? I mean, how far along are you?"  
  
My father appeared to hold his breath at that one, as if waiting for one of them to say, 'oh, shucks, you caught us.'  
  
Lucy simply beamed, her smile bright enough to outglow the Christmas lights.  
  
"Ten weeks yesterday. My doctor confirmed it just a few days ago. Isn't it wonderful?"  
  
My parents were acting like Lucy had just used a new definition of the word wonderful, but I, having not lost my mental faculties, did the only thing I could.  
  
I jumped straight into Milliardo's arms, practically squeezing him to death.  
  
"You are? She is? Wow...when's the due date?"  
  
Thrilled that at least one family member was happy, both Milliardo and Lucy took turns babbling meaningless information at me.   
  
Interrupting a long winded speech about having neutral pastels in the nursery, I leveled my brother my harshest no nonsense look.  
  
"When is it due, and what are you naming it? Erm...he...um, she...oh, argh! - it! What are you naming your child?!" I floundered for the proper wording.  
  
I was surprised Lucy's jaw didn't fall off from the force of her smile.  
  
"Annette Marie if it's a girl, or Patrick Emerson if it's a boy."  
  
I honestly thought they were kidding at first, but the disgustingly happy looks they were giving each other and us showed they spoke the truth.   
  
"The poor kid's going to need therapy," I muttered.  
  
Luckily my mother's wails about being to young to be a grandmother drowned my words out.  
  
**************************  
  
**************************  
  
"Stop yapping about your brother and start spilling the juicy gossip about Duo. And Heero."  
  
"Like your men a bit older than you, do you?"  
  
"That, is the SINGLE most disgusting thing I have ever heard you say."  
  
"I guess I shouldn't throw in a comment about you being a relative of Heero's then, should I?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You're no fun."  
  
"I know. Now stop stalling and starting talking."  
  
**************************  
  
**************************  
  
Heero and Catherine had broken up some time ago, and while Catherine had moved on. (To a certain someone named Quatre) She hadn't quite told the object of her affections this, though. Heero vowed not to rush into a relationship just yet. He said he needed time to figure out what exactly he wanted in a girl. This was spoken with a blush staining his cheeks, and that told me that Heero had already decided what characteristics his dream girl would possess. More importantly though, it made me believe Heero had already picked her out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Valentine's day was here yet again, and this was the first time I had looked forward to that dreadful day.   
  
Duo, chocolate lover that he is, received a large chocolate kiss during History class. The school had a fund raiser selling balloons, and for two dollars you could buy a balloon, attach a personal message, and they would deliver it and anything else you could tie to the balloon.   
  
Class was interrupted for ten minutes while they sorted and passed all of the balloons out. Lucky girl that I am, I received three balloons, but only one was from Duo. The other two were gifts from Catherine and Marie. We had decided to get each other balloons (ones that only had a 'friendship' theme, of course) so that there was no chance of feeling left out.  
  
If worse came to worse, and no secret admirer balloons were given, we could giggle and blush like it had been a surprise gift. It is the mark of a true friend if they'll go to lengths like that for each other.  
  
Ten minutes till lunch, the school secretary came over the intercom, and read off a lengthy list of people with flowers waiting for them in the office. It almost came as a surprise when my name was called, but then I remembered the silly grin Duo had been wearing yesterday afternoon.  
  
I practically skipped to the office, along with Marie and Catherine. Only Catherine and I were actually getting flowers, but Marie, being the nosy person she is, couldn't wait.  
  
The small office was pure chaos and we had to wait several minutes before we approached the front of the line. The office helpers looked frantic, and I couldn't blame them. With over a hundred rabid, hormonally charged girls stampeding through the office, I was surprised no one snapped.  
  
Catherine's flowers were found first, and the small bouquet of flowers might as well have held a bomb, such a shock they produced. Quatre of all people had sent her flowers, and the smile that stayed plastered over Catherine's face made me think they weren't an unwelcome gift at all.  
  
The biggest shock came when my flowers were handed over. Three flower vases were set in front of me, and I couldn't help stuttering in surprise.  
  
"Ah...I, I think there's been a mistake."  
  
I received a very nasty look from the girl. She flipped the tags over, pointing dramatically to the 'Relena Peacecraft' scrawled on all three.  
  
"You're the only Relena in the school, let alone the only Peacecraft. It isn't a screw-up, they're all yours. Now move, please."  
  
The girls helped me carry the vases to the bandroom, where Mr. Treize had volunteered space to hold the assorted gifts. We managed to find one corner that was relatively empty, and it was with eager hands that I tore open all three envelopes at once.  
  
"Hey, babe. Hope the flowers don't wilt before you get them. Duo," I read off, laughing. Only he would make a joke like that.  
  
"Forget Duo's; we knew he would send you something. Open the others up!" Marie urged.  
  
I stuck my tongue out at her, but obligingly turned the next note so they could read it.  
  
"To my beautiful baby sister. Call me tonight. Love, Milliardo."  
  
Okay, that one wasn't so bad. Which meant the next one would be a whopper, or be from my parents. I wasn't sure which one I was hoping for.  
  
I slowly opened the final note, and my jaw dropped.  
  
"To a very beautiful person."  
  
Catherine ripped the note out of my hand, turning it to see if there was a name on the back. No name was to be found though, and the mystery flowers bothered me for the rest of the day.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I couldn't tell if Duo would like the idea of me receiving flowers from someone else, but he laughed it off, and said he was glad someone else agreed with him.  
  
It was driving me crazy though, and I dragged Heero over to see them. He liked playing detective; maybe he could go around interviewing all the boys and find out who sent them.  
  
He merely touched the bear that was holding onto the vase with a gentle finger and smelled the roses. The three roses were white and surrounded by sprays of baby's breath, and the vase was an intricate piece, with a string of colored glass snaking its way around the clear body.  
  
"Heero! You aren't paying attention! Help me figure out who sent these - otherwise I'm gonna die of suspense!" I wailed, but Heero merely changed the subject.  
  
"Did Catherine like her flowers? Quatre had me help to pick them out," he added, and I latched onto that bit of information.  
  
"Really? So he does like Catherine! She's going to die when I tell her tomorrow!"  
  
I spent the next half hour pumping Heero for info, and forgot all about my quest to meet my mystery gift giver.  
  
******************************  
  
Three days later, Catherine pulled me aside with a juicy bit of news.  
  
"Relena, you are NEVER going to believe what I heard my mother saying the other night. She was on the phone with Heero's mom..."  
  
She trailed off to let the suspense build.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And it turns out Heero borrowed some money from his mom to order flowers for this girl," Catherine gushed.  
  
I still couldn't see where this was headed.  
  
"So? Now I have something new to harass Heero about."  
  
Catherine sighed and whapped me on the back of the head.  
  
"Stupid! You didn't let me finish. Anyway, Gloria 'accidentally' overheard Heero placing the order, and get this. They were for a girl here at our school, and she clearly heard 'aft' as the last part of the name!"  
  
The implication didn't hit me until I repeated my name a couple of times.  
  
"You think Heero sent those flowers?" I choked. Heero was my best friend! Admittedly, Duo had also been my best friend...but Heero?  
  
"Catherine, promise you won't tell anyone that. Promise!" I demanded, deathly afraid of what might happen if that got out.  
  
"I wasn't going to tell anyone! Heero is still my friend, and besides, who would believe it?"  
  
With that, Catherine's mouth took off again at full speed, but I blocked her out. It wasn't possible, was it? Heero knew that I really cared for Duo - in fact, I was pretty sure I was in love with him. He wouldn't ruin that, would he?  
  
I was pretty sure he wouldn't, but the tiny thought of Heero liking me stayed in the back of my mind. I found myself watching Heero closely, catching all of the little things I had never noticed before.  
  
I was in love with Duo, but god help me, I started to think of what it would be like to date Heero. And I wasn't sure it wouldn't be a bad thing.  



	6. Decision, decisions...

Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 6  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISLCAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing or it's characters. I'm also not making any money off of this, which is a bad thing, since I'm kinda broke. :(  
  
  
Thanks goes out to Fatima, Cindy, and Rose's noodle o'death for encouragement and support.  
  
  
"You need to write something realistic. Make it depressing, mortifying, etc" - Ghost-chan  
************************  
  
The following month, our homeroom teachers calmly informed us that it was time to schedule for our classes at the high school.  
  
I panicked.  
  
Then I saw the form they were passing out, and realized that I only had to pick two elective classes. I knew one was going to be band, so what did that leave me with?  
  
A huge list of classes I could take, and no clue as to what I should do.  
  
I immediately marched over to Heero's that afternoon, determined to work this scheduling thing out. And to get help with my algebra, but that was beside the point.  
  
"Heero?" I called out, standing in the foyer.  
  
"He's up in his room, Relena. Go on up; I'll call you two down when the brownies are ready."  
  
Okay, so I was also over here because Gloria cooks really well, and her deserts are wonderful.  
  
I practically ran up the steps, only slowing when I reached the landing. I thought I had made enough noise to wake the dead, but then I heard Heero's stereo going full blast.  
  
Shrugging, I knocked on the door anyway. He didn't answer, but I took the fact that the door was already partially open as a sign he wasn't completely naked or anything.  
  
Well, I was half-right, at any rate. He still had his jeans on, but his shirt was off.   
  
"My, my, what big muscles you have," I teased.  
  
Then I remembered my conversation with Catherine a few weeks ago, and blushed. I hadn't really seen Heero with his shirt off in quite a while; when he had started junior high, the shirt only came off if he was doing something really sweaty, like mowing the lawn.  
  
"Relena! What...don't you know how to knock?" Heero hissed at me, his face crimsoning. He quickly pulled the shirt on, then leveled his best glare at me.  
  
"I did knock, but you have your 'awesome system' turned up so high, you didn't hear me," I retorted. "Besides, the door was already open."  
  
Heero's face was still pink around the edges.  
  
"All right, fine, it's my fault. What do you want?"  
  
He seemed to think I was after something.  
  
"What? Can't a friend show up at another friend's house without wanting something?"  
  
Heero eyed me, then strode across the room to turn the sound system down.  
  
"Having trouble scheduling?"  
  
I gaped.  
  
"How'd you know?"  
  
Heero snorted and plucked the sheath of papers from my hands, tapping a finger underneath the large logo.  
  
"Riverview High fall scheduling; the title kind of gave it away," he smirked, whapping me on the head with the bundle.  
  
I stuck my tongue out at him, flopping down on his bed as I did so.  
  
Heero sat down as well, gesturing to the bookbag I had dropped in surprise.  
  
"Algebra?"  
  
At least I had the decency to blush.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
My soft admission made Heero smile. Shaking his head at my oh so obvious actions, he proceeded to go through the list of classes, pointing out the merits of each.  
  
"You might like the creative writing class. Mrs. Jerring also teaches ninth grade English, so you'd have her twice.   
  
"Now, Mr. Reddik, the computer teacher, is a bit odd. He hasn't quite updated his sense of humor from when he was in high school. The jokes suck," Heero stated bluntly, sending me into a giggling fit.  
  
Heero continued, ignoring my outburst.  
  
"Your best bet would be to take your foreign language now. They schedule those classes so it's easy to get them your first two years. After that, good luck."  
  
"Um...what kinds of foreign language?" I asked. Milliardo had taken French, and so had my mother and Lucy. They were all the time spouting things off, and laughing like loons. It kinda gave a person a complex.  
  
"Well, you can take the standard French or Spanish, and be as dull as the rest of the school, or you could be semi-interesting..." Heero trailed off, leaving me to nudge him in the ribs.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And take either German or Japanese," he finished.  
  
"Gee, lemme think about which one you're going to suggest," I drawled, raising an eyebrow at him.  
  
"German, of course. Who'd wanna take a ridiculous language like Japanese?" Heero deadpanned.  
  
"Riiggghhhtt. I'll be sure to mention that to your father next time I see him," I snickered, watching Heero's face pale at the thought. Hitori Yuy was big on upholding the tradition of his ancestors, and that little comment could cause BIG trouble.  
  
"You wouldn't," Heero growled, swiping at me.  
  
I ducked and slid off the bed, dancing a few steps away.  
  
"I dunno...I mean, it'd take an awful lot of help in algebra to forget that one...EEP!"  
  
Heero dove for me, tackling me around the knees. That effectively toppled me over, and put me in danger.  
  
It was a well-known fact that I was extremely ticklish, and neither Duo nor Heero had ever had a problem holding back in that area.  
  
Heero didn't have to hold me down to tickle me. Once the torture started, it was all I could do to move, except to thrash around.  
  
"H, H, Heero! Stop, please, ack! Can't...breath..."  
  
Heero didn't fall for that ruse.  
  
"Floor...hard...ouch..."  
  
Heero simply picked me up and threw me on the bed, then resumed tickling.  
  
I was managing to return a few of the tickles (Heero being slightly ticklish), so we were both rolling around laughing and shrieking.  
  
I'm sure it won't take you much imagination to picture how red my face was when Gloria walked into the room.  
  
"Heero Yuy! What are you doing?!"  
  
Heero was so startled he fell onto the floor.  
  
"Ah...tickling?" He offered weakly. His blush almost matched mine.  
  
Gloria looked between the two of us and 'humphed'.   
  
"Not on the bed. Now, the brownies are ready if you two would like some."  
  
With that she stood to the side and waited for us to preceed her down the stairs.  
  
**********************  
  
Mom was well over the initial shock from Milliardo's announcement. Every time we went shopping, we had to stop in the baby section, and she would inevitably buy something. Then she'd take a catalog, and order even more stuff when we got home.  
  
It was no wonder that I sighed the way I did when the doorbell rang. No doubt it was Bob, our friendly neighborhood UPS man. Bob was thirty-something, married, and had two daughters, one of which wanted to be an astronaut when she grew up.  
  
How do I know this, you may ask? Well, after the first ten deliveries, mom started making small talk. THEN she made him a plate of goodies to take home, for all of his hard work.   
  
Did I also mention my mother was having her mid-life crisis?  
  
Luckily, when I opened the door, it wasn't Bob, but Heero and Duo.  
  
"Hey, guys. What's up?" I asked the question carefully. Heero was grinning like an idiot, and Duo was all but dancing around the livingroom.  
  
"I passed," Heero answered cryptically.  
  
It took me a minute to realize that he was tossing car keys from hand to hand. Then I remembered that his sixteenth birthday had been the past Saturday.  
  
"Oh. Oh! Congratulations!"  
  
Heero waved my words off.  
  
"Thanks. Now come on, we're going."  
  
"Where?"  
  
Heero opened his mouth to answer then stopped. He blinked, cocking his head to the side. Finally giving up, he looked at Duo, who only shrugged in response.  
  
"It's debatable. Just get your shoes on and let's go."  
  
Now, if this were one of Duo's animes, I could just run off, and my parents wouldn't care, as long as I was at school tomorrow morning.  
  
But this isn't one of Duo's animes, so I had a bit more trouble convincing mom that I'd live to see another day.  
  
"Relena, it isn't that I don't trust Heero's driving. He just passed though; I think he should take a little more time driving by himself before taking others," my mother lectured through the phone line.  
  
"Mom...it's Heero. Not exactly the wildest, craziest kid on the planet. I think I'll be safe."  
  
I could hear my mother pinching the bridge of her nose.  
  
"Come on, mom. We'll probably just end up going to the mall," I wheedled.   
  
In the end, I won, and we all piled into Heero's car.  
  
*********************  
  
The end of May came, and with it our middle school career ended as well. Last year the county school board voted to change all junior highs to middle schools, and move the ninth grades into the high schools.  
  
I was a high schooler - could you believe it?  
  
Mr. Treize and Ms. Une's wedding also occurred, and the whole gang was invited since we were both students and friends of Marie. Minimal fuss went into the wedding, but it was absolutely beautiful.   
  
Ms. Une's dress was very understated, with long sleeves that trailed down to end at her wrists. Her dark hair was left down for the occasion, gently falling to curl about her shoulderblades.  
  
Mr. Treize looked devastatingly handsome in his white tux.  
  
Afterwards, when the newlyweds were leaving, I made the mistake of saying something about wanting to get married.  
  
Duo stared at me, his jaw on the ground, and a gleam in his eye.  
  
"Babe, you tell me when, where, and what color, and I'll be there."  
  
**********************  
  
**********************  
  
"Wait, wait, wait. Here he is, practically telling you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and you're contemplating dating his best friend?"  
  
"When you put it that way, I sound like a horrible person."  
  
"I'm beginning to wonder."  
  
"Let me try to explain it better. I didn't sit down every day and weigh the pros and cons of each of them. I loved Duo - I still do.   
  
"The idea of dating Heero, of being more than just a friend...it was there in the back of my mind, lurking, just waiting for a chance to pop up. Duo would be giving me a large hug, and out of nowhere, the thought would flit through my head of what it would feel like to have Heero be a major source of comfort for me.  
  
"And let me tell you, it made me feel like a horrible person, suddenly thinking about one guy while my boyfriend was holding me."  
  
***********************  
  
***********************  
  
I made a very big mistake at the end of June. I was spending the night at Marie's, along with Catherine. Marie had the bright idea to play truth or dare, and I stupidly chose truth.   
  
I've never made that mistake again, I can assure you.  
  
Anyway, I knew something was wrong the minute I said 'truth'. Catherine and Marie exchanged an evil grin, and cornered me.  
  
"So...Relena...do like Heero in the boyfriend way?"  
  
You could almost cut the silence that followed that particular question. Did I like Heero that way? My head said it was horrible to be thinking like that, but my heart was another matter. I had known Heero for many years, and in a way, I loved him. But did I love him enough to want to kiss and hug and make that step from friend to girlfriend?  
  
"Possibly."  
  
My two friends pounced on that, dissecting that one little word to death.  
  
"Really?"   
  
"Are you going to break up with Duo to date Heero?"  
  
"He's a good kisser!"  
  
I literally backed myself into a corner of the couch, and pulled my pillow up to cover my face, leaving only my eyes to peer over the edge.  
  
"I don't know, guys. I mean, I love Duo. He's everything that a girl could want in a guy. He's sweet, funny, caring, nice, sensitive, cute..." I trailed off, trying to blink back tears. The thought of not being able to share a part of my life with Duo really hurt.  
  
I was glad when the girls surrounded me in a group hug, murmuring silly things to try and cheer me up.  
  
"Too bad you can't date them both," Marie sighed wistfully. "Just think, you'd get twice the valentine's gifts, twice the kisses, hugs, attention...and you'd probably get spoiled rotten, since the guys would compete to give the best gift."  
  
I had to laugh at the mental image of me being buried under a mound of stuffed animals. My laughter signaled the end of the 'serious' stuff, and we turned our attention back to more mundane things.   
  
Like whether or not Marie should try to hook up with Wufei, or Trowa.  
  
**********************  
  
I couldn't get the thought of dumping Duo for Heero out of my head. When I was with Duo, it was just us. No problems, nothing. But when we were apart, a little devil sat on my shoulder and whispered in my ear constantly.  
  
I was feeling quite wretched about the whole thing. My laughter started to die, and more often I spaced out, totally unaware of the world around me.   
  
When Duo asked if something was the matter, all I could think to tell him was that I wasn't sure what was wrong with me; that it was probably just a case of the blues, nothing to worry about.  
  
God, I felt horrible.  
  
And that was why I confronted Heero two weeks later.  
  
***********************  



	7. I am a horrible person.

Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 7  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. *sniff*  
  
AN - I read a scientific study a few weeks ago, that said people who sit down and write about traumatic or stressful situations for 15 to 20 minutes a day tend to have better physical and cardiovascular health, and tend to be better off emotionally. Well, I wrote this chapter in two hours...I'm going to live forever. Also, the whole 'chakra' bit is just something I've been thinking about. Had a professor talk about it once, and it kinda got me thinking, but I don't claim that this is anywhere NEAR the truth.  
  
This if for Reb, and Rose - for Reb so maybe I'll stay off the mob list a bit long, and Rose so she'll turn that noodle o'death towards someone else. (May I suggest Moonkitty? ^_^) Of course, this is also brought to you by the LoveReflection ML, who's weird, insane, and wacky comments helped me get over writer's block; and ten cups of coffee, which overcame anything the list couldn't. O.o  
  
"Writing, when properly managed...is but a different name for conversation." - Sterne  
  
"So the heart be right, it is no matter which way the head lies." - Ralegh  
  
*********************  
  
I was in the backyard, swinging on my old tire swing, when Heero wandered over. Apparently the summer boredom syndrome was striking him as well. Without asking he began to push me on the swing, and that's how I asked my question.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I have a really really really really really REALLY important question to ask you, and I want you to be totally honest with me."  
  
I could feel Heero hesitating while he continued to push me, but finally he answered.  
  
"All right. Shoot."  
  
And so I did. I ask a question that completely embarrassed me, because I was afraid that Catherine had been wrong and I was about to make a complete fool out of myself.  
  
"Do you like me?"  
  
Apparently that wasn't the question that Heero was expecting, because I actually swung by him twice before he could form a coherent sentence.  
  
"As in?"  
  
"Girlfriend like."  
  
I knew my face had to be the color of a ripe tomato. I mean, I just asked my first bestfriend if he wanted to date me.   
  
"Yeah."  
  
********************  
  
Heero left shortly after that, and I settled into my favorite chair to think things over. I pondered and I thought; I puzzled and I questioned, but all I got for my hour was the vague feeling that I sounded like something out of a Dr. Suess book and a headache.  
  
Gyah, why does this relationship stuff have to be so hard? I was beginning to wish that I lived in a time when the parents arranged everything, so I wouldn't feel bad.   
  
Of course, with my luck, I'd end up with some old fat man.  
  
******************  
  
I spent most of the following week with Duo. He was supposed to go on a family vacation next week, and we both wanted to cram time with each other in. We played those horrid shoot'em up video games, romped around outside, went to the mall, watched movies - you name it, we did it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm going to miss you."  
  
Duo's words only came as a slight surprise to me the night before he left. We were curled up in the rec room at his house, watching some movie. Well, we were supposed to be watching the movie, but pretty much all the time was spent kissing and talking.  
  
All right, fine. We kissed more than we talked. Happy?  
  
At any rate, I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and I buried my head against his shoulder so that he wouldn't see them. Of course, when I did that, he knew I was crying, but he would usually not say anything, or act even more like a clown to cheer me up.  
  
"I'm going to miss you too," I mouthed around his shirt, and I felt the kiss that he placed on the top of my head.  
  
*********************  
  
I moped around the house the day after Duo left, feeling completely stupid. He would be back in two weeks; surely I was independent enough to survive that long without him?  
  
Marie and Catherine tried their best to cheer me up, and that included taking me to the mall. Catherine and Quatre had hooked up in March, so he was glad to play chauffeur for us.  
  
He even had the sense not to say anything as we dragged him into every clothing store there was.  
  
What a guy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
About Thursday of that week, my little demon came back and started not so softly to whisper in my ear. Each day I would wake up happy, but as I remembered my current situation, my day would go downhill. It was even to the point where I couldn't hide it from my mother, but she just put it down to missing Duo.  
  
Yeah, I felt a whole lot better after hearing that.  
  
I couldn't talk to my mother, because I could practically hear what she would say.  
  
"Relena," she would begin, "I think you need to stop seeing this as being so serious. You are fourteen years old. You are supposed to date different people. Stop acting like the world is going to end if you break up with Duo."  
  
I tried calling my grandmother, but all she told me was that I had to do what my heart told me to do.  
  
Gee, really? I hadn't thought of that before...  
  
Finally, I gave up and called Milliardo. I needed a guy's perspective on this, and I could trust him not to blab to anyone, except maybe Lucy.  
  
Speaking of Lucy, she sounded mighty crabby when she answered the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ah...Lucy? This is Relena. Is...Milliardo around?"  
  
"Hello, Relena. I'll go and find him." The last word was spoken with ice hanging off of it.  
  
Great, I'd probably called in the middle of a fight or something.  
  
"Relena?"  
  
My brother's voice sounded warm in my ear, bringing me out of la-la land.  
  
"Milliardo? Did I call at a bad time?"  
  
"Noo, not really," he chuckled. "Lucy's just getting fussier the closer it comes to the due date. It's nothing personal.  
  
"What can I do for you?"  
  
Damn, I'd almost forgotten why I'd called.  
  
"Well, I kinda need your advice on something," I drawled out, not really wanting to admit to anything now. I'd probably sound completely juvenile to him.  
  
"Boy problems?"  
  
"How did you know?" I demanded.  
  
Milliardo's laughter came through the line again.  
  
"Believe it or not, dad actually figured it out, and told me you'd probably be calling."  
  
Grr...I HATE it when my parents do that!  
  
"What should I do then?"  
  
"Relena, I just know it's guy problems. I don't know the specifics," he stated.  
  
"Okay. Well. Hmm...it's like this. I'm dating Duo - and everything's fine between us, really! - but remember those surprise flowers I got for Valentine's? Well, it turns out Heero sent them - Catherine found that out. Anyway, I finally got the nerve to ask Heero, and he says that he does like me that way. And I think I like him that way too, but if I dump Duo and turn around to date Heero, I'm going to look horrible, and I doubt that Duo will ever want to speak with me again. And what happens if I'm with Heero for a week and realize that I don't like him that way and Duo won't take me back? I'll have ruined a good thing for a chance at another good thing," I wailed.  
  
"That's it?!"  
  
I never realized what an insensitive jerk my brother can be sometimes.  
  
"What do you mean, 'that's it?!'? I'll have you know that it might sound stupid to you, but it's hurting me to think about this.   
  
"Just forget. Never mind. Forget that I ever called you, I'll figure it out myself," I huffed.  
  
"Relena...I'm sorry. It just doesn't seem like you, to agonize over something like this. What happened to Ms. Spontaneous? Just sit down, practice those relaxing techniques that I showed you, and listen to yourself. Don't try to analyze this to death; you'll only ending up making it worse. Don't think; feel."  
  
My brother, the philosopher.  
  
The conversation was pretty much over after that, and as I hung up the phone, I decided that Milliardo's advice couldn't hurt anything.  
  
***********************  
  
That night, as I lay in bed, I tried to follow Milliardo's advice. Beginning at the crown of my head, I imagined that a thin bubble was sliding over my body, covering me with a thin coating. I focused on every part of my body, feeling the bubble wrap around my fingers individually, as they lay curled at my sides.  
  
By the time I finished, I was at peace.  
  
I slowly started to allow the thought of Duo and Heero to unfold through me, noting how I reacted to everything. I imagined not being able to hug or kiss Duo, and my stomach tightened instantly, a feeling of dread forming a yawning pit in my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick.  
  
I backed off from that thought then, and went through the relaxing techniques once more. When I finished them, I put Heero in Duo's place.  
  
Surprisingly, when I thought of Heero, it was my chest that tightened, a constricting band that made me gasp for air.  
  
Could that be it, then? Everyone says to follow your heart, and if Heero was that deeply entrenched in my heart, then my answer should be clear cut - shouldn't it?  
  
***********************  
  
***********************  
  
"What in the world are you talking about? I don't get how you arrived at this."  
  
"Well, I didn't know it at the time, but the heart and the stomach are two major chakra points, points of energy in the body. Through the years, I've come to think that each person we meet touches us at a different point. Some, like Duo, affect our abdomen chakra, and others, like Heero, are rooted at other points."  
  
"You've lost me."  
  
"Well, let me put it this way. When I thought of losing Duo, I began to feel nauseous, right? It started in my lower stomach, where they say one of the points is.  
  
"But when I thought of Heero, my heart and lungs felt constricted, which identified with another chakra point."  
  
"Whatever. You're crazy."  
  
"Humph. Maybe you should open your eyes a bit and explore the world before you start declaring things to be silly or absurd."  
  
************************  
  
************************  
  
I've always been a bit...eccentric, as Marie called me, so the idea of leaving such an important decision up to something that I very well could have imagined didn't phase me.  
  
What did phase me, however, was the thought of actually following through.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
For two nights after making that little discovery, I laid awake, curled around the stuffed penguin that Duo had given me for my birthday last year. Rationally, I KNEW that it was stupid to act like this was serious; I mean, it wasn't like we were married and I was thinking about cheating on him; but I couldn't get his words from the wedding out of my mind.  
  
/Tell me when, where, and what color, and I'll be there./  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The second night, as I cried silently to myself, I decided that I could take this stress no longer. I felt that I had to give dating Heero a try; Duo would either understand, or he would hate me. Unless I found out for myself though, I would always wonder if I had made a mistake by not dating Heero.  
  
*********************  
  
Duo wasn't due back for another four days when he called, his voice cheerful. He talked nonstop for fifteen minutes, when he finally realized that I wasn't really responding.  
  
"Babe? Something the matter?"  
  
I am a horrible person.  
  
"Duo...I need to tell you something, and promise me you'll listen completely, alright?"  
  
Duo caught on to my serious tone, and his voice sounded resigned when he spoke, as if he knew what was coming.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"I've been...thinking, and I think that I wanna try...I wanna..." I was crying, my throat becoming clogged with emotion, but I managed to blurt it out.  
  
"I think I wanna...try dating someone else," I whispered.  
  
I am a disgusting, horrible person.  
  
Duo was silent for minutes, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Finally, when he did speak, the tears were evident in his voice.  
  
"You're sure about this?"  
  
"Yes...I think, I mean...I don't know, Duo! I just feel like it's something I need to try."  
  
They should lock me up for being this cruel.  
  
"I...understand. Good-bye."  
  
I stared at the phone, still crying. I couldn't believe I had just done that.  
  
I don't deserve the title human being.  
  
***********************  
  
I ran into Heero, literally, when I rushed outside. I had some idea that I would go into the woods, sit down, and berate myself for what I had just done.  
  
"Relena? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"  
  
Heero's concerned voice triggered a fresh round of tears, and I had to pull away to sink to the deck floor. I felt absolutely horrible, but at the same time, there was a lightness in my chest. I had put an end to something, and there would be no more decisions to be made on it.  
  
With that in mind, I turned to look at Heero, who had sat down beside me.  
  
"I broke up with Duo."  
  
The shock was evident in Heero's eyes, and he narrowed his gaze to look at me frankly.  
  
"And why did you do that?"  
  
Well, in for a pound...  
  
"I did it...I did it...because I wanna date you," I rushed out, turning my head so I wouldn't have to see him. After all, who would want to date a girl that had just broken up with their best friend? She had to be a horrible, mean person.  
  
Heero stood suddenly, and I huddled against the side of the railing, not wanting to meet his gaze, but needing to know what was going to happen.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I need to think," was the only answer I received.  
  
***********************  
  
I called Marie and Catherine and told them each. The both sympathized with me, and tried to offer encouraging words of advice, but I couldn't stand it. I felt like I didn't deserve anything remotely close to comfort. Who was there to comfort Duo at this time? If he had no one, then neither should I.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two days after I broke up with Duo and told Heero, Heero showed up at my doorstep.  
  
"Come outside?"  
  
I nodded numbly, slipping sandals on to follow him to the edge of the woods. We seated ourselves on a rock, careful not to catch the others eye.  
  
"I've been thinking. I do want to date you, but I don't want to lose Duo's friendship; I've known him for a long time."  
  
I felt my heart sink. This was to let me down gently that he didn't want to risk it.  
  
"I understand," I whispered, and started to stand. His grip on my wrist kept me from rising though, and I turned startled eyes to him.  
  
His dark blue eyes were firm, his mouth set in a determined line as he regarded me. Finally he spoke, and I sank back down in relief.  
  
"I'm willing to give it a try, though; I'll talk to Duo when he gets back."  
  
I closed my eyes for a moment, thanking god that, for whatever reason he had decided to do this, that I wouldn't have to be the one to tell Duo.   
  
I am weak.  
  
*********************  
  
My grandmother called the next day and provided me with an opportunity I couldn't refuse.  
  
"Hi, sweetie! What are you up to?"  
  
My grandmother's warm voice brought a smile to my face.  
  
"Nothing much, gran, just trying to not be too bored," I lied.  
  
"Well then, how would you like to come visit for a week? I know your father has to be up this way for a business meeting; we could meet you and bring you home with us, if you want."  
  
I realized that I very much did want. My grandmother is so calming and soothing that I knew I needed to take this break. Besides, band camp didn't start for another two weeks - I would have plenty of time.  
  
"I'd like that very much, gran."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And so, that was how I came to be leaving the day that Duo was supposed to be back. Heero simply looked at me oddly when I told him I was going to spend the week with my grandparents, but said nothing otherwise. I think he understood that I needed to get away to someplace where I wouldn't run into Duo.  
  
I am a coward.  
  
***********************  



	8. The true miracle of childbirth is that t...

Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 8  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters from Gundam Wing, although I will claim the storyline.  
  
"If I am pressed to say why I loved him, I feel it can only be explained by replying: 'Because it was he:because it was me.'" - Montaigne  
  
***********************  
  
My grandparents are very calming. They don't rush to do anything, sure that everything will fall perfectly into place without their help.  
  
It is obviously something that you can only learn as you grow older; I've tried not to worry and fret, but I always end up feeling pressured to hurry.  
  
At any rate, my grandmother and I had several long conversations while we baked. My grandmother absolutely loves to cook, so whenever one of us visits, she goes into master chef mode.  
  
Mind you, I'm not complaining.  
  
We were to leave tomorrow morning to take me back, and after that my grandmother was heading down to stay with Milliardo and Lucy for a few weeks. Lucy was due any day now, and according to Milliardo she was driving him crazy.  
  
Most of the stuff we were baking were Lucy's favorites, so Milliardo could use them as a peace offering.   
  
I was betting it didn't work.  
  
The whole sordid story came tumbling out while we were mixing the ingredients for Zucchini bread. I didn't seem to be able to stop the tumble of words from falling off my tongue, but I found when I finally did stop I felt so much better.  
  
Gran regarded me for a moment, staring at me intently. We are exactly the same height, so it's a bit disconcerting, but it made communication so much easier.  
  
"Relena, sweetie, I don't know what you want me to say. It was something you say you felt you had to do, and no one should put you down for that. All of our lives, we hurt people, both intentionally and not; the only thing you can do then is apologize and try to make amends.  
  
"But don't beat yourself up over this, otherwise your entire relationship with Heero will be overshadowed by past events."  
  
Gran's words did a lot to cheer me up, but some small worry must have shown through still.  
  
With a sigh she moved around the table, putting one flour-covered hand over mine. Then, looking me straight in the eye, she said something that helped me through many of my life's difficult problems.  
  
"You and Duo were together for quite some time, and it is still relatively fresh, so your feelings are still there - they haven't quite faded to a memory that you can touch   
and feel the warmth, but not get burned by it. But I promise you, sweetie, that one day you will be able to pull out all of these old memories, and only smile at them," she reassured.  
  
Her words brought tears to my eyes, and I clumsily swiped at them with my fingers, completely forgetting that I was covered in flour up to the elbows.  
  
So I ended up with white clumps smeared all over my face, and in the process managed to spill quite a bit of flour to the floor.  
  
You should be able to guess what happened next.  
  
Oh yes, I, klutz queen of the world, took one step and fell flat on my butt. It didn't end there, unfortunately. On my way down, my hands flailed around and I knocked the mixing bowl off the table and right on top of me.  
  
And that was how I came to be sitting on my grandmother's sunwarmed kitchen floor, laughing myself silly.  
  
I still have the picture that my grandmother took to commemorate the event.  
  
*************************  
  
  
I hate first dates. Heck, forget first dates, I hate first minutes. You know what I mean. You and whoever suddenly decide to date each other and you're feeling all happy. Then the next time you see them, poof! - instant awkwardness.  
  
It's annoying as hell.  
  
It also perfectly describes how well my first meeting with Heero went when I returned home.  
  
How exactly does one start a conversation with their new boyfriend, knowing their Ex lives only yards away? Apparently you don't, since I couldn't think of a single thing to say.  
  
Thank god Heero felt like talking for once.  
  
"Quatre said to tell you there's a band meeting tomorrow night - that's when you'll get your uniform. And Catherine wants you to call her tonight. Something about riding together to band camp; I didn't quite catch it all," he commented, his lips quirking up into a smile.  
  
"I don't think I'm cut out to be your secretary; way too many messages for me to keep straight," Heero teased, effectively breaking the ice.  
  
I smiled, glad to talk about mundane things.  
  
"How'd your week go?"  
  
"Not much happened. Slept in, cut the grass, got my own car...." Heero trailed off, looking sideways at me.  
  
"Your own car?" I gawked.  
  
"Well, it was mom's car, but she decided that she'd take the new one, and give me her new one," he clarified, shrugging.  
  
"Still, that's pretty cool," I insisted, and on that note we both fell silent again.  
  
"Duo went to go visit Damien for the week," Heero announced suddenly, and I felt my heart instantly jump.  
  
"He did? Well, that's good; I know he really misses hanging out with him," I tried to throw out nonchalantly.  
  
I had a sneaking suspicion that it didn't work.  
  
**********************  
  
I stood in awe at the edge of the roadway. Kids and parents swarmed in and out of cabins, laughing, shouting, and chiding each other. It was the official start of bandcamp, and the Riverview High Marching Warriors spent one week at the beginning of August away at camp, devoting all of their time and attention to learning the music and drill.  
  
I was never going to make it.  
  
My dad lugged all of my stuff into the cabin as numerous friends greeted me. Cathy and Marie had already claimed two beds, leaving one in the middle for me, and my father groaned theatrically when he dropped my stuff onto the bed.  
  
"Oh, haha, very funny," I muttered, becoming deathly embarrassed when my father enveloped me in a gigantic bear hug.  
  
"Daaaddddd...."  
  
Ms. U...um, I mean, Mrs. Kushrenada (that is still way weird for me) laughed and assured my father that she'd keep a sharp eye on me.  
  
After my father left, I hurriedly made my bed and stored my junk away, then Cathy, Marie and I headed for the guys' rooms.  
  
*********************  
  
At dinnertime, me, Cathy, and Marie sat down with the guys, and a few new friends as well. Jim was a fun, likeable guy, prone to do silly things to make everyone laugh. Alisa was a quiet, dark haired girl, whose witty barbs had us clutching our sides when she decided to speak up.  
  
And then there was Sally Po.  
  
Sally was a transfer from another school district, and a junior. She was part Chinese, just enough to make her good looks even more exotic. Her sense of humor was a mixture of everything, from sarcasm to self-depreciating.  
  
Wufei was struck dumb.  
  
As momentous as the occasion was, I didn't say anything immediately, waiting until I could pull him aside.  
  
"Are you going to ask her out?" I asked.  
  
"What?! Are you crazy?!" Wufei hissed, trying not to draw attention to us. "She's a junior, for god's sake! I'm only a freshman - it would never work out," he concluded glumly.  
  
I could only shake my head at his words. I mean, Wufei is pretty cute, to be honest. And when you can get him to stop saying stupid things, he's fun to hang out with.   
  
Then I remembered that Sally was in my cabin, and a little devil popped up on my shoulder. I'm sure that if I dropped a few hints, I could speed things up - or find out if she didn't even like him.  
  
"Well, at least get used to her being around; I like her and I'm going to be friends with her if I can. So please try to say something a bit nicer than, 'You actually LIKE that hideous music?', okay?"  
  
Wufei glared at me.   
  
"Oh, go jump in the river or something," he advised, and then it was time for our evening practice.  
  
******************  
  
******************  
  
"Am I boring you?"  
  
"Oh, no, not at all. I enjoy reliving every single moment in your life with you."  
  
"Hmph. You're the one that asked me, so don't complain."  
  
"Do you have any IDEA of how long this paper is going to be, even if I take out the non-essential parts?"  
  
"Not my problem. Now, if you don't mind?..."  
  
Sigh.  
  
"Fine, go ahead."  
  
*****************  
  
*****************  
  
As soon as I returned from band camp, dad drove the two of us to North Carolina to see my niece. Lucy had given birth three days late, and had to endure eighteen hours of labor.  
  
I was surprised to see Milliardo intact, with no body parts missing.  
  
Lucy and Milliardo had thankfully changed their name ideas, so the seven pound, six ounce baby girl I held gingerly in my arms was to be called Kaitlyn Elizabeth Peacecraft. Her hair was dark colored, but her eyes were the same shade as Milliardo's and my father's, and I could tell Milliardo was going to have fits when she started dating.  
  
Speaking of Milliardo, he hadn't come out of the battle completely unwounded. His hands and arms were a mass of scratches, were Lucy had raked her nails up and down his arms. He was also sporting multiple bruises, but that didn't stop him from turning into the biggest sap in the world.  
  
I swear, if I had to hear him gush one more time about how beautiful and perfect his daughter was, and how he was going to try his hardest to raise her correctly, and he had some many hopes and dreams for her future, blah blah blah - I was going to scream. Or bonk him over the head with something. Or maybe even both.  
  
************************  
  
I bounced over to Heero's the afternoon we returned, ready to start spending some quality 'us' time. We'd been dating for two weeks, but I'd barely seen him, so I thought it was high time we started doing couple things.  
  
Like hugging. I don't care what anyone says, hugging definitely beats out kissing in the 'best part of a relationship' category.  
  
Anyway, I had to talk to Gloria for a few minutes and tell both her and Hitori about bandcamp and Kaitlyn, and then Heero and I escaped to the rec room to play some pool.  
  
We had made a few shots, talking casually, when Heero told me Duo was dating Dorothy.  
  
"He's what? When?" I sputtered out, completely missing my shot.  
  
Heero looked at me oddly, but finally answered.  
  
"He said they went out to the movies two days ago, and I guess he asked her then. Weird, isn't it?"  
  
"Um...yeah. I didn't know that he even liked her as a friend," I stammered out, desperately hoping that I wasn't about to break down and cry.   
  
I mean...I don't know. I just had the thought in my mind for some reason that Duo wouldn't see anybody for a while. He was supposed to be upset over us breaking up, not move on so quickly.  
  
Jeez...I sound like I want to control his life, or never let him see other people.  
  
When Heero came around the table to envelop me in a large hug, I was thankful for him understanding that all of this would still take me some time (although what was going to take time, I had no idea) and wouldn't go crazy over anything.  
  
And I felt horrible because just for the tiniest of moments, I wished that it was Duo's arms comforting me.  
  
*************************  



	9. It's in his kiss.

Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 9  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Gundam Wing characters. I just enjoy causing them angst. ^_~  
  
AN - At the moment, I'm kinda poor (the lament of a college student) so I can't really shell out the money to receive support services. However, I can email you to inform you when I update at FF.N. If you would like me to do this, either 1:email me privately, or 2: state so in your review. All I need is an email addy.   
  
  
"If I am pressed to say why I loved him, I feel it can only be explained by replying: 'Because it was he: because it was me.'" - Montaigne  
  
***********************  
  
I love Heero Yuy.  
  
Really, it's as simple as that. And how did I come to realize this?   
  
He kissed me.  
  
And it wasn't just any old 'press your lips together' kiss. In fact, it wasn't really the kiss that made me realize this; it was the way he looked at me afterwards.  
  
We were saying good-bye on his back deck, when he pulled me to him firmly. When I went to look up at him, Heero cupped my face in his hands and lowered his lips to mine. The kiss lasted for only a brief time, but I enjoyed every minute of it.  
  
And when I opened my eyes, Heero was gazing at me with such a tender look on his face that my breath caught. Then slowly, oh so slowly, he lowered his head again, and kissed me in such a way that I felt like I was a princess.  
  
"I love you," he whispered against my hair as we hugged.  
  
"And I love you," I said, and found that I meant it.  
  
***********************  
  
Friday came, and with it our third football game, and first away game...and our very first band bus trip.  
  
Ah, the band bus. How do I even begin to describe that insanity?  
  
We had signed up for buses early that week, and I, along with Cathy, Marie, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre and Sally were on bus two. The 'fun' bus, as it was called. Quatre and Sally had managed to save seats for everyone in the back, and we each sat with our bus buddy.  
  
Cathy and Quatre got the large backseat, of course, with Wufei and Sally (and let me tell you, it took us FOREVER to get Wufei to talk to her) in the seat in front of them. Marie was given the smallest backseat, and Trowa and I sat in front of her.  
  
Our opposing team, the Greenbank Warriors, were located almost three hours away from us, so it promised to be an interesting trip. We sang, we played truth or dare (extremely hard to do, with our limited resources), but the best came after we stopped for dinner.  
  
Now, anytime that adolescents have to sit still for long periods of time, their energy level is bound to go up, right? Well, ours certainly did.  
  
Of course, having three glasses of soda with our dinner didn't help things, I'm sure.  
  
At any rate, someone came up with the idea of 'singing' our field show. We nominated Sally to inform everyone, and she did so, in a loud voice that caught everyone's attention.  
  
"All right, everybody listen up! We," she waved her hand to include us, "are extremely bored. So we're going to sing our field show. Feel free to join in, and make sure you only sing your part!"  
  
With that we were off and running. We led ourselves, laughing as a few drummers beat out their part on the seat in front of them, and had a blast when our lead trumpet player stood up to sing his solo. The band parents chaperoning gawked and put it down to 'those weird people in the back' and our bus driver yelled for an encore when we finished.  
  
Crazy? You betcha, but it was a blast.  
  
Our band director, Mr. Gilson, didn't think it was funny when we asked if we could just leave the instruments on the band trailer, and march the show singing.  
  
Hmph. The man had no sense of humor.  
  
********************  
  
Heero had a game the next day and I rode with his parents and him to the game. It was a glorious September day, the warm sunlight taking away the slight chill the wind brought. Gloria and I chatted aimlessly, but I always had Heero in my sights. The team they were up against had a reputation for being both rough and unsportsmanlike, and there was no way I was going to let anything bad slip by me.  
  
Heero and Quatre both played forward, and since they had been playing together since they were little, they had an uncanny knack for being able to read each other well.  
  
Their coach loved it.  
  
Anyway, the referee signaled the beginning of the game, and like a shot Quatre was down the field, Heero pacing slightly ahead and to his left. They ducked and weaved through the defenders, till finally Quatre had a shot at the goal. I saw him risk a glance around him, look ahead, then he lowered his head, focused on the ball, and gave a mighty kick.  
  
The goalie blocked it.  
  
Our cheering section in the stands gave a little sigh, then settled in to wait for a goal.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
There were three minutes left in the game when disaster struck. We were ahead, three to two, and the other team wasn't happy about it. They had been taking cheap shots all day and the refs hadn't really done anything to them, and our side was boiling mad.  
  
It had also begun to drizzle right after half time, and the field had quickly turned into a muddy mess, leaving both sides to slip and slide in every direction.  
  
Heero had fared pretty well though, and had possession of the ball. He was rapidly approaching goal range, with Quatre right along side him, when a player from the defending team came barreling at Heero. Knowing he couldn't make the shot, Heero passed to Quatre, and Quatre scored another goal.  
  
The player though, quite mad by this time, bent low and ran into Heero, twisting his body to ram a shoulder into Heero's stomach. Heero went down, but the player wasn't finished. In an attempt to make it look like he was trying to jump over Heero, he purposely stepped on Heero's shin - wearing metal studs and bearing down with his full weight.  
  
Heero screamed then, such a sound as I never hoped to hear again. After that initial scream though, he never let out another sound, save the small whimpers that escaped unconsciously from his throat.  
  
I was out of the bleachers and running across the field in a heartbeat, determined to reach Heero's side. Players were crowding around, forming such a tightly knit circle that I had to shove my way through the crowd. The team trainer was already there, assessing the wound, barking out orders to various people.  
  
"Heero? Heero!" I fell to my knees by his head, helping to keep him out of the mud and water puddles that were forming everywhere. I smoothed his wet hair out of his eyes, desperately wishing he would respond.  
  
"He's blacked out," Michelle, the trainer, told me. "And it's for the best, because this looks like it's a nasty compound fracture."  
  
Gloria and Hitori had reached us by now, tears slipping down Gloria's cheeks to mingle with the rain that fell.  
  
Then the paramedics came, and in a blur of actions took Heero away, loading him into the ambulance and rushing him to the hospital.  
  
***********************  
  
Three hours later I was seated in the surgery waiting area, trying to focus on the show playing quietly on the TV  
  
It wasn't working.  
  
I had called both my parents and Duo when we got to the hospital, and Duo had shown up with my dad about twenty minutes later, bringing with them a change of clothes for me.  
  
Hitori and Gloria were with the surgeon at that moment, listening to the prognosis. All he would tell the waiting group was that the surgery went well, and then he asked to speak with Heero's parents in private.  
  
That didn't sound good.  
  
It looked even worse when they came out, Hitori supporting a crying Gloria at his side. I was out of my chair and at her side in a heartbeat, wrapping my arms about her slender waist, trying to give some measure of comfort.  
  
I could feel the tears prickling at the edges of my eyes, but I managed to keep my voice level as I turned to regard Hitori.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
He sighed, pulling both Gloria and I into a half hug.  
  
"The doctor said the surgery went well, but...."  
  
"But?" I prodded, a knot of dread forming in my stomach.  
  
"They had to insert three pins into his leg, one at each break. There are small bone chips floating around as well, that they couldn't reach because it would cause more harm than good. Heero's going to have to take physical therapy for a long time, in order to make sure he has full use of the leg," Hitori recited, rubbing tiredly at his face.  
  
"And what does that mean for his soccer career?" Duo asked suddenly.  
  
Hitori spared nothing.  
  
"The chance of him ever playing again is so slim the doctors are saying zero chance."  
  
My tears began to fall in earnest. Soccer was Heero's life - much like band and music was to me. And for him not to be able to do that anymore....  
  
I put that thought off, determined to focus on helping Heero, and being positive. After all, Heero had pulled off the impossible before, so I wouldn't tell him he couldn't.  
  
Duo and I looked at each other, understanding what needed to be done.  
  
"Can we see him?" Duo asked.  
  
"Not tonight, but tomorrow you can stop by sometime in the afternoon," Hitori replied, then wished us a goodnight as he and Gloria walked back through the surgery doors.  
  
**********************  
  
**********************  
  
"Is that why Heero has so much trouble with his left leg?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh, yes, that's why. He can hardly walk when the weather suddenly changes, or it's too cold."  
  
"I don't know how I would feel if I didn't have complete use of my body."  
  
"Heero still does have 'complete use of his body' - he just has to be careful at times. Besides, I'm sure that you would do what every other person has done."  
  
"And what is that?"  
  
"Adapt."  
  
**********************  
  
**********************  
  
The next day Duo and I crept into Heero's hospital room, mindful of the nurse's warnings that he might seem a bit out of it from the pain medication. He seemed to be alert and orientated though, giving us a small smile.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey," Duo and I chorused back together.  
  
I was suddenly feeling awkward, so to remind myself that this was simply Heero in a new situation, I walked over to his bedside and planted a kiss on his nose.  
  
"Hey!" He said again, this time sounding indignant that I had performed a 'fluffy moment' in front of someone else.  
  
That sounded more like the Heero I knew though, and I became more at ease, mindful of the tubing running over the bed railing.  
  
Duo touched the cast gently, raising his eyes to smirk at his friend.  
  
"Do I get to be the first one to sign the cast?" He teased, mischief flaring across his face.  
  
Heero and I both knew that look well enough; it said 'run for your life.'  
  
"It depends," Heero answered cautiously, "on what you plan on saying or drawing."  
  
Duo pouted, sending me into a fit of giggles and making even Heero smile.  
  
"Jeez...play a few jokes on someone, and they go all suspicious on you," he groused, but settled on promising not to say anything lewd.  
  
***********************  
  
Heero was allowed to come home three days later, since the doctors were now satisfied that the bones were healing, and no infection had set in. He was confined to bedrest for at least another week, and without asking his parents, I knew that Heero would not be an ideal patient.  
  
He had been discharged early that morning, and I waited until the afternoon to come visit. Heero hadn't been home eight hours and he was already pouting by the time I walked into his bedroom.  
  
Heero glared at me, but I only looked back, trying to force a serene look on my face. Several minutes of simply staring at each other passed, then Heero looked away, huffing to himself.  
  
I didn't know if either one of us would survive his recovery, if he was going to act like this.  
  
I settled on the edge of his bed, mindful of the leg that was propped up on several pillows.  
  
"Everyone wants to know if they can come visit," I started off, trying to draw him into talking.  
  
"Why? So they can stare at the invalid?" Heero snarled, crossing his arms over his chest, and refusing to look at me.  
  
"Heero Yuy, I'm shocked at you. Our friends do not want to come over to 'stare at the invalid'; they want to talk to you, help you get better - anything you need," I retorted, feeling my anger beginning to rise. Lord, but the boy could tick me off sometimes!  
  
Heero mumbled something, and my tone was sharper than I meant for it to be.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I said," and here Heero turned to look at me from the corner of his eye, "that I was sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm just...frustrated."  
  
"Frustrated?" I echoed, at a complete loss. "Why in the world are you frustrated? You just got out of the hospital; it isn't like you've had time to grow tired of staying in bed," I reasoned, trying to draw his feelings out more.  
  
Oh, I drew them out all right, and Heero did something that he immediately regretted.  
  
************************  
  
Mwahahahahaha....eep! *takes off running from the Lovereflection ML Mob*  
  
^_^ Lemme know what you think!  
  
  
  



	10. Alas, poor...Mr. Fuzzy?

Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 10  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Gundam Wing characters.  
  
  
************************  
  
Yes, Heero did something he immediately regretted.  
  
Heero ripped the head off of Mr. Fuzzy, and threw it across the room.  
  
Let me explain.  
  
When he was young, about two or so, his aunt in Japan sent him a stuffed penguin toy for his birthday. Heero immediately fell in love with it, and named him Mr. Fuzzy.  
  
Now, Mr. Fuzzy has been with Heero for over fourteen years, and still resides on his bed during the day. Heero swears he doesn't sleep with him now, but I bet on a really bad day you could find him curled up with Mr. Fuzzy in his arms. Mr. Fuzzy is the ultimate comfort toy.  
  
At any rate, Heero had been clutching to the penguin as if he were a life preserver. I should have noticed how white Heero's knuckles were as he held onto the toy, but I was growing frustrated. So when he took his anger out on that poor toy, I snapped.  
  
"What is wrong with you?!" I demanded, crossing the room to fetch the decapitated head.  
  
"What's wrong with me?" Heero repeated, color staining his cheeks. "I've just found out that the chance of me ever playing soccer again is almost zero! How would you like it if you couldn't play the flute ever again, or sing, or do anything that's really important to you? Would you take it calmly?" he demanded, angrily swiping at the tears that were coursing down his face.  
  
"I can't...god, Relena, what am I going to do now?" Heero croaked out, burying his face in his hands. "My dream was to play soccer at least on the college level, and now that will never happen. What am I going to do?"  
  
And seeing Heero like this, lying in bed, confessing to me his fears, my anger vanished. How would I feel if I couldn't do something, and had been planning a large part of my life around that one thing?  
  
The thought was too big for me.  
  
Mindful of Heero's leg, I sat by him and pulled him to me, settling his head against my shoulder.  
  
"Oh, Heero," I whispered. "I am so sorry that this happened."  
  
And I sat there, and held Heero while he cried out his anger and frustration. Something wet splashed against my hand, and I found that I too was crying.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I stumbled down the stairs a little bit later, both physically and emotionally drained. Heero had cried himself to sleep, a fact that I was still having problems believing. This was Heero; Mr. Stoic, Everything is Fine Yuy. And to see him so...human, I suppose, was a shock to me. Heero was supposed to be a stone pillar, a person that could weather anything and still remain strong.  
  
But after I had realized he was asleep against me and had carefully placed his head back on the pillow, all I could do was sit there and watch him sleep. Lines of pain were etched around his mouth and eyes, with a crease splitting his brow. I had run my hand over his face, trying to smooth the pain away, unable to leave him like that. And I found myself growing angry, angry at that thoughtless player that had taken a part of Heero away from himself.  
  
I wanted vengance. I wanted that person to feel how badly he had hurt Heero, to understand just what he had caused. It was wrong of me to feel that way, I know, but I am only human.  
  
********************  
  
I walked over to Duo's, in desparate need of a friend.  
  
Duo whistled when he opened the door and saw me standing there with poor Mr. Fuzzy in my hands.  
  
"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well," he dramatatized, sweeping the bird's head from my hand. "Whether tis nobler...."  
  
I couldn't help it; I had to laugh. And with the laughter I felt a large weight lift off of my chest.  
  
"Thanks, I needed that," I said, applauding Duo for his fine acting skills.  
  
"Quite welcome," he returned, bounding through his house to the rec room. "Come on, me an' Dorothy are just starting a movie."  
  
I stopped in my tracks, feeling immediately uncomfortable. Dorothy and I were friends, in the loosest sense of the word. We could speak civilly to each other, and could withstand going for each other's throats, but....  
  
There was a way that she looked at me, especially now, that made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Like she didn't entirely trust me.  
  
"Er...that's okay. I just came over to give you the head's up on Heero," I stammered, earning a look from Duo.  
  
Duo still had his knack for reading me, so I didn't even try to hide the fact that I was uncomfortable. He regarded me for a moment, then nodded slowly.  
  
"Okay, thanks for the warning," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow in class."  
  
"Okay. Well, um...bye," I muttered, then fled down the hallway, the sound of Dorothy's voice floating after me as she called for Duo.  
  
**********************  
  
**********************  
  
"Can we please skip ahead? I already know Heero's a crank when he's sick. Besides, our time is running short."  
  
"I believe that I am more aware of that fact than you are, my dear. But yes, I will skip ahead to something else."  
  
*********************  
  
*********************  
  
By the end of my sophomore year, all of us were in relationships. Some were better than others, but that was to be expected. Wufei and Sally were going strong, as were Quatre and Catherine and Heero and myself. Duo and Dorothy had a love/hate thing going on; she'd treat him like crap, he'd get ticked, then go back to her. Things would be good for a while, then the whole cycle would start over.  
  
It was emotionally draining to watch.  
  
Marie and Trowa, surprisingly, started dating. I had problems putting hyperactive Marie with a quiet person like Trowa, but she did have him laughing and smiling more often, which I was glad of.  
  
The end of my sophomore year was also the end of Heero, Sally, and Quatre's senior year. I was torn between wishing Heero would suddenly fail every class to being very proud of him. He was going to graduate as Valedictorain of a class of four hundred.  
  
I did mention our high school was rather large, didn't I?  
  
Anyway, Heero had been accepted early on in the year to a school several hundred miles away. Sally was going there as well to be a doctor, and it turned out that they would be living on the same floor.  
  
I will not spazz out. I will not think silly little thoughts of Heero and Sally hooking up. I will not worry that Heero will leave me for some chick he meets in a bar.  
  
*sigh* I think I need a drink now....  
  
We had the entire summer before us though, even though both of us were working. I was doing some volunteer work at the hospital as well as working at the mall, and Heero was being 'errand boy' at his father's engineering firm.  
  
The weeknights were usually too full for us to see each other, except for small amounts of time. But when the weekends came, though, we were inseperable. Not that we excluded our other friends - many times we'd meet somewhere and go run through the mall. Our favorite place was a large shopping complex that also housed a Walmart.   
  
Ah...good ol' Wally World. Can anything compare?  
  
There's just something about running through the toy isles yelling for each other that, well, makes you feel like a kid again. Our forays would often last until 11 or so at night, then we went to 'Mama Jo's All-Night Diner'.  
  
Sound hokey? Well, a bit. But the food was absolutely wonderful.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So I'm sitting at home one night, talking with Catherine on the phone. We were lamenting over our boyfriends going away to college in two months.   
  
Eek.  
  
The phone beeps and I put Cathy on hold while I switch over, expecting it to be dad, since he was on a business trip.  
  
It was Heero.  
  
"Cathy, I'll call you back later, okay?"  
  
Now, normally I'd just call Heero back, but he and his parents were leaving early in the morning for vacation.  
  
By vacation I'm not talking Disney World or the beach. I'm talking Gifu, Japan, where Hitori's anscestors first started out.  
  
Heero and I chatted over silly little things; me telling him what my niece had said to Milliardo (I guess kids DO say the darndest things!) and all about the idiots that had showed up at work.  
  
An hour later, Heero reluctantly wound down the conversation.  
  
"I have to get up early tomorrow - the flight leaves at 6:30," he said, earning a sympathetic cringe from me.  
  
"Ugh. Well, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," I teased. "I love you."  
  
I could hear Heero's grin. "Love you too. And I've got something to give you when I get back."  
  
With that he hung up, leaving me with a week worth of suspense. What in the world did the boy have planned? 


	11. I'm only thinking of sugary, sweet thing...

Choosing Fate  
  
Chapter 11  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters associated with Gundam Wing.  
  
***************************  
  
Love is the most wonderful thing in the world. Oh, I'm sure the cynics would laugh at that statement, but anyone who has ever loved and been loved in return knows what I'm talking about. Love isn't about being giddy and disgustingly happy all the time; it's more like carrying this little ball of happiness deep inside you, which you can touch at any time and instantly feel better.   
  
And that's how I feel about Heero. The thought of him can always bring a smile to my face, and a happy lilt to my voice.  
  
Just in case you didn't catch it the first time, I love Heero Yuy. With all my heart.  
  
That being said, I feel that I can safely say that Heero returns the emotion with the same fervor. I could babble for hours about the sweet things he says or does - but I won't. My prattle about how sweet Heero is to me usually leaves people gagging and in need of insulin.  
  
Suffice it to say that I have no complaints about our relationship, save one: he's at college, and I'm stuck in our hometown. The university he's attending is four hours away, so I can't exactly hop over to see him whenever I want. Not that my parents would let me - since Heero left for college, they've become paranoid about the two of us being alone for extended periods of time.  
  
Not that we really have a reason we need to be alone - yet. I've been thinking more and more about how I feel about Heero, and I think I'm pretty close to taking that last step.  
  
Sex doesn't scare me, and while the thought of an unwanted pregnancy is frightening - especially what my father would do - it can be avoided quite easily. I love Heero, there's no doubt of that. And he isn't exactly in the relationship for the sex; I say that safely since we've been together for a year and a half now.  
  
No, the one thing that's stopping us from going all the way is ambience. I mean, I'm a teenage girl - I want the romance and sweet gestures that ultimately lead up to intercourse. I don't want a rush job in the back of a car. I want my fairy-tale scene.   
  
And by god, I'm going to get it.  
  
*************  
  
*************  
  
"You're forgetting something."  
  
"Take a good look at me and tell me you're surprised by that fact."  
  
"Hn. Point. Anyway, what did Heero get you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Before he left for Japan - you said he called and told you he had something for you."  
  
"Oh, that. It turned out to be a music box. The figurines were that of a prince and princess, and they danced to a classical song. Heero told me the princess reminded him of me."  
  
"Gah. Such a sap. And please wipe that smile off your face; it's disgustingly cheerful."  
  
*****************  
  
*****************  
  
At any rate, the Fates looked kindly upon my plight. Two weeks later Heero called to say that the organization he'd joined was sponsoring a ball, and he wanted me to come up and go with him. He also requested I wear the gown I'd worn to his senior prom.  
  
The memory of that night made me smile. He'd shown up promptly at six, ready to whisk me away for dinner and a night of dancing. His expression when I came down the stairs is still vivid in my mind. It was a look that every female wants, whether she'll admit it or not. It spoke of desire, of appreciation, and the possessiveness that only men can show with a simple look.  
  
I felt my heart do a flip with that look.  
  
When I reached him, he took my hand into his, and brought it to his mouth to place a gentle kiss on the back of it. There is just something about the way he does that, that turns me into a puddle of goo.  
  
But I digress.   
  
Throughout the night I received so many little gestures from Heero that I thought my heart would explode from happiness. Heero has never been one for PDA's, or excessive sap, so I knew just how much he appreciated both the outfit and the gesture.  
  
Back to the current time. My parents, able to see things clearly from time to time, reluctantly agreed to allow me to attend the ball, under the condition that I stay at Sally's apartment that night.  
  
Of course I was going to stay at Sally's apartment that night. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*  
  
It was decided that Wufei would also go along, so that he could see Sally.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The school day Friday couldn't go by fast enough. We were leaving directly from the school, which should put us at the University around 7. Of course, if I were driving, we would get there around 6:30. I happen to have a little bit of a speed demon in me.  
  
Unfortunately, I wasn't driving, but all in all, that was okay. I could handle spending an extra half-hour with Wufei.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
We talked for about the first hour or so, but after that we lapsed into silence, letting the CD player fill in the space for us. I think that's why Wufei is one of my closest friends. Marie talks constantly, and Cathy's even worse; Duo can be a chatterbox when the mood strikes; but with Wufei, the silence isn't awkward or anything. If you have something to say, then by all means, say it. But if I just want to ride along and enjoy the scenery, that's fine by Wufei as well.  
  
It's nice to have such a friend in your life.  
  
As it was, I was extremely grateful for the lack of chatter. Because I was trying to figure out how to seduce Heero. Now, I've read countless smut stories, but I can't actually picture myself ripping Heero's shirt from his chest and then running my tongue along his body in a daring manner.  
  
The mental picture sent me into a fit of giggles, making Wufei raise an eyebrow in my direction.  
  
"It's nothing," I managed to stutter out. "And if it was, *giggle* I couldn't tell you!"  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"Because, er...." logic packed its bags and fled, leaving me high and dry.  
  
"Because, er...." Wufei prompted.  
  
"Because it's embarrassing!" When in doubt, stick to the truth.  
  
"Oh, I see. I thought it was because you were trying to figure out what line to use on Heero."  
  
Jeez, I swear the boy can read minds.  
  
I considered not answering for a moment, and the scenario of me trying to rip Heero's shirt and breaking his arm or something made my dignity cave in.  
  
"Yeah. And I'm not having a bit of luck. What do I do, Wufei?" I wailed, causing him to swerve at the unexpected volume.  
  
"Relena! You aren't going to get to practice if you make me wreck! Now keep the hysterics down," he ordered, chancing a look in my direction.  
  
Several minutes of silence passed.  
  
"You could always use the line Sally used on me the first time," Wufei finally offered.  
  
"What?! I can't do that, it's too weird! And what do you mean, first time? Why wasn't I informed of this event?" I demanded, turning to glare at my friend.  
  
"You didn't ask," Wufei replied.  
  
I could practically see his nose rise in the air.  
  
"Hmph. Fine then. And what did Sally say?"  
  
"But you can't do that," Wufei parroted back at me, smirking as I punched his shoulder. "Fine, fine. She said, 'How many different sounds do you think I can make if I let you put your mouth anywhere on my body.'"  
  
Curiosity aroused (and I assure you, pun is intended) I leaned over to poke him in the shoulder when he didn't go on.  
  
"So? Did it work?"  
  
Wufei smirked the smirk that only a satisfied male can smirk. "Like you wouldn't believe."  
  
We left the conversation at that for a while.  
  
*****************  
  
When we pulled in to Heero's apartment complex's parking lot, he was waiting for us. And as always, my heart did a little flip at the sight of him. Best of all though, I was here, he was here...and no parents were in sight.  
  
I pretty much zoomed into Heero's arms the minute the car door opened, and I'm pretty sure I was brusque with Wufei when I retrieved my stuff from his car. I'm sure he understood though.  
  
The first twenty minutes I was there, the only thing we did was hug and kiss. It was wonderful. All the time spent away from Heero melted into nothingness with those first few minutes.  
  
When we finally did separate, it was just long enough to eat dinner. Heero cooks very well, so it wasn't a hardship eating what he'd prepared, but to this day I couldn't tell you if I put sirloin in my mouth, or pig's feet. I was focused entirely on being with Heero.  
  
And afterwards we settled onto the couch to watch TV. I have no idea what was on; most of the time I had my back to the TV, cuddling against Heero as we lay there. I was biding my time, waiting for an opportunity to try my seduction skills.  
  
If a seventeen year old can be said to have seduction skills.  
  
Anyway, I got up on the pretense of getting something to drink, leaving Heero comfortably sprawled on the futon. I came back with my drink, setting it on the coffee table as I sat down next to Heero.  
  
I was apparently staring, because Heero looked up, raised an eyebrow, and asked, "What?"  
  
Okay, deep breath, here we go.  
  
Oh god, this idea is going to crash and burn.  
  
"Well," I leaned over to give him a kiss, "I was wondering," and here I pulled his shirt up to plant a few kisses on his stomach, "what kind of sounds you would make if I ran my tongue all over your body."  
  
I looked up and into Heero's unblinking stare.  
  
********************* 


End file.
